Crazy Things Girls Do To Get Married! [Must Read]

Never underestimate the power of a (without hope/very upset) girl to get married.... See what they do below

1. Grabbing a friend or relation's man. All is fair in love and war! (story that may or may not be true) has it that women have chose to/chosen to (because there was no other choice) locking their phones, hiding their men and coding their main point from (friends who were not really friends) cos it's a jungle out there...

2. Re-inventing themselves. Dishonesty/pretending is the order of the day. No man wants to (not wild; easily controlled) the loud, mean woman or teach the inexperienced or make an honest woman out of a dishonest one so once marriage is desired, women package themselves in pseudo, ready-made, easy-to-use, highly desirable packages. After marriage, what
you see is what you get!

3. Trapping him with pregnancy. This used to be the old school method of getting a man to propose. From skipping the pill to flirting with the man or getting him drunk when she was ovulating, a woman usually knew she had the man where she wanted him once she missed her period even if there was no commitment.
Now the guys are saying YES to baby mamas and YES to child support. Are the girls discouraged? NO! The girls have stepped up their game by involving the parents and you know parents don't like (shameful or disgraceful acts or situations).

4. Praying&Fasting. This would probably be a honorable means of getting a husband but
sometimes the prayers are offered up to gods other than God & other times it becomes a song permanently on repeat.

5. Taking his photograph to places for a
predictor of the futureess to pray over or a powerful Alfa. Heard it works like a charm.

6. Taking his sperm, hair or personal effects to herbalist. Guys, disposing off your condoms yourself is not such a bad idea...

8. Putting love portion in his food! This is classic and always-existing but shouldn't it be called a 'compelling' portion? Because in this case, love is by force!

9. Saying YES to a man you hate! A woman has two classes of men usually on her case. The 'correct' guys and the 'disgos'. The disgos usually end up as rebounds but many a woman has shocked a sad (and feeling no hope) toaster with a sudden 'Yes' and men have agreed that truly there is nothing God cannot do!

10. Proposing to a guy! Yes it does happen... (Who wears the engagement ring? )

Read More

10 Everyday Things Only (friendly and talkative) Shy people Will Understand

Most people identify themselves as either a shy person or a person (who's friendly and outgoing), but what about the people who fall somewhere between the (usual/ commonly and regular/ healthy) lines? I'm right there with you. I love going out and being surrounded by my friends, but I also badly want the time I can spend completely alone with no (objects or actions that interfere with mental focus).

There are often times when I find myself surrounded by people wishing I wasn't there; wishing I were almost anywhere but there. I'll usually give myself a pep talk to try to get myself into the conversation so people don't start asking, "what's wrong?" There is nothing wrong; I would rather just be home by myself not trying to make small talk over things I have no interest in talking about.

Then there are times where all I want to do is go out and see every person I know. I'll text nearly everyone I can think of to make sure they're all going out. Interaction with others is a necessary and (usual/ commonly and regular/ healthy) part of life, but sometimes I go out of my way to make the effort to make sure I will be surrounded by people I care about.

If this sounds like you, here are some more examples of what it's like being a (friendly and talkative) shy person (or social shy person if that's the term you like better) is like.

1. You have no problem talking to strangers but when the conversation is just small talk you'd rather just go back to being alone. 

You can hold a conversation mostly, but small talk doesn't keep your brain started/working at the conversation. Small talk is light and fun, but we like more deep conversations. Not to say we won't ever start/work at small talk, because we do, that's part of life, but we always try to push it a little bit further and dig deeper. We want to the conversation to lead to us actually getting to know the person.

2. If you're not comfortable in a group of people you keep to yourself in the back. 

You love being surrounded by people, but generally only be people you're comfortable around. Being around a different group of people makes you feel awkward and might even give you a little social fear and stress.

3. You have days where you want to talk to everyone and days where you don't want to be contacted.

Some days you want to be texting all your friends and making plans whereas other days you ignore everyone. It just depends on the day; there is no real explanation other than you have two opposite ways to recharge and you need a balance of both. If you spend too much time around people you are dying to get back to the comfort of your own home. But if you spend too much time alone you desire being around others.

4. You prefer meaningful conversation. 

Like I said, small talk is not important to us. It makes us more uncomfortable, especially when the conversation goes nowhere, like usual. When we have a conversation we want to get to know you, the real you. We want to have something engaging and meaningful to talk about. Deep conversation is what it's all about.

5. You're always wrapped up in your own head. 

You're always thinking, alone and with people. Your brain goes a million different directions, whether it's thinking about something you have to do next week or something you forgot to ask a friend there is always something on your mind. You also often give yourself pep talks when you need some (desire to do something/reason for doing something).

6. Sometimes it's really hard to get us out. 

Because what if it isn't fun or isn't worth it? I'd probably end up regretting getting up and leaving behind my books and laptop. But what if it's the best time and everyone's talking about how fun it is? There are nights when you don't want to do anything and nights when you want to do everything.

7. Just because you like being alone doesn't mean you like being lonely. 

There is a total difference between the two. You like being alone because you choose to be alone. But you don't like being alone because you don't have anyone there for you. Being alone and spending time doing your own thing is what makes you happy, but being with people also makes you happy. Being lonely makes happy (by meeting a need or reaching a goal) nothing and completely kills both moods.

8. You enjoy listening to others. 

You enjoy listening to others because sometimes all you want is someone to listen to you. Even when you don't have anything to say, you listening helps someone out because they know you're involved. But listening to someone who has something going on engages us because we feel important, like we are doing something good for someone.

9. You're (in a picky way where only certain things are selected) social. 

You enjoy being social, but you don't want to be social with everyone. People that are involved in a lot of drama are completely out of your interest range. You don't enjoy talking negatively about others and you'd rather avoid people who do. It makes you very uncomfortable.

10. You make new friends easily, but have a harder time maintaining those friendships.

Making friends is no problem for you. When you're out you love being out. You talk to people, you're social and you're happy. But after the night out is over and you wake up the next morning the importance of maintaining that friendship isn't very high. Whether it be because you don't feel like texting anyone or because you don't want to leave the house it's the maintenance that is the real struggle for you.

Read More

Why It’s Totally Okay To Be Clingy In Relationships

If you google the phrase “clingy in a relationship”, pretty much 9 out of 10 search results will come up with a negative, dismissive tone while the remaining 1 is probably urban dictionary explaining what clingy means.

“Clingy” has long been deemed as one of the most undesirable traits that could instantly turn off any level of interest. It’s the bomb you drop on the first date if you want to send any dating prospect off to NOPEville. In a nutshell, no one, I repeat, no one wants to be seen as clingy.

However, nowadays people throw that word around too easily and sometimes people are wrongfully labelled clingy. Though, even if they’re really being clingy, it doesn’t always have to be such a bad thing. Here’s the reason why it’s totally okay to be clingy in a relationship:

It’s normal and okay to want to spend a lot of time with your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner.

When you really like someone, no matter at what stage of the relationship, there’s absolutely nothing wrong about wanting to be with the star of your dreams all the time. It’s in our human nature. It’s just as basic as feeling hungry and wanting food.

In most cases, the clingy lover is actually the lover whose needs aren’t met, who doesn’t feel appreciated in the relationship and that’s why it brings up insecurities and consequently, leads to attention-seeking behaviors. Inherently, it’s not the clingy lover that is wrong. It’s simply that their desires just aren’t reciprocated on the expected level.

So instead of blaming yourself for “being too much” and trying to fix what isn’t wrong in the first place, know that it’s okay to feel this way and communicate with your partner openly and honestly about your needs.


Someone who complains you’re too clingy might well be just not that into you.

Let’s stop for a second and ask yourself this: If you really, really like someone, would you be annoyed by this person wanting to be with you call it clingy, or would you wish to see them all the time and get jumpy and excited whenever you hear from them?

I don’t know about you but I would be so damn happy and flattered if my crush was ever clingy to me! Even when I need my me time, because I like him so much, I wouldn’t react negatively to his desire to be with me no matter how intense (I wish, seriously!), or use it as a reason to break off.

If someone breaks off with you because you’re too clingy, unless you’re at restraining-order-required level, sorry my dear, chances are high they’re already put off by other reasons and your clingy triple texts ain’t one. If anything, it’s probably just the last drop that makes the cup run over.

If that’s how you love, then be it.

Some might say clinginess comes from insecurities which means it needs to be fixed. However, for some people, it’s just who they are and the way they love. They need that much of attention and contact. They are that intense, that passionate, that crazy for love. So be it.

There’s no shame in being true to yourself. Actually, you should be true to yourself all the time and embrace every ounce of that clinginess if there’s any. Just because someone doesn’t want you the same and thinks you’re being clingy doesn’t mean everyone agrees with that or there’s something wrong with you.

To be fair, whether someone is clingy or not is totally relative. Do you know that clingy isn’t even a thing in some Eastern societies, for example Chinese or Vietnamese? These collectivist cultures don’t promote independence and so in relationships, couples stick together all the time and clingy is even what’s considered normal.

There are people who want a clingy lover.

Remember this: You’re not for everyone. You’re for the people who value you and appreciate you for everything you are including being clingy if that’s how you love. There are many, many people out there who would love to be with a clingy lover, who think your level of clinginess is absolutely healthy and normal and flattering. Don’t settle for less than that. Maybe you just haven’t found the right one yet.

That being said, if you believe being clingy is in fact an indicator of a much deep-rooted emotional wound, or it has consistently posed a problem to all of your relationships or even your life, do look into it and make some changes, or even ask for help. This is the chance to learn more about yourself and find out what works best for you! 

Read More

30 Questions You Need To Ask Yourself If You Still Haven’t Found The Relationship You Want

1. Do you think of relationships as something you earn for being “good enough” or something you develop when you’re strong enough to open your heart?

2. What does “love” mean to you? Is it just a good feeling? Is it companionship? Is it comfort? Is it direction for the future?

3. How could you possibly get those things in your life if not through the company and proclamation of undying intimacy from someone you probably don’t even know yet?

4. If the love of your life would reflect all of your unhealed issues, mirror your flaws, and bring your deepest insecurities to light, would you be ready to be in a relationship with them?

5. Do you try to relate to other human beings, or do you try to exert superiority over them? Do you want to connect or do you want to seem impressive? Do you engage in discussion to learn, or to sell someone on your way of thinking so you feel supported and “correct?”

6. Are you thinking about your love life more than you’re actually living it? Have you developed a plan to find the kind of love you think you are so desperately missing?

7. If you were to develop a plan to find that kind of love, what would it look like? What would you need to do? What could you try? Where could you go?

8. Is the prospect of online dating, being set up by friends, and generally putting yourself out there less comfortable than the idea that you could possibly spend the next few years (or longer) by yourself?

9. Are you open about the fact that you’re looking for love? If you’re trying to play it like you’re cool being single, you’re going to miss out on a lot of opportunities to meet friends of friends, simply because they don’t know you’re willing.

10. What makes you happy, aside from affection from other people?

11. If you decided to take control of your relationship destiny today, as opposed to just waiting for it to “happen” when it’s “meant” to, what would you start doing differently?

12. Do you think a great relationship is something you find, or something you develop and strengthen over time?

13. Do you believe that people who are more beautiful, successful, smart, talented or in other ways superior have more love than you ever could?

14. Have you ever taken an honest look at the people around you who have love, and evaluated them on that same scale of attractiveness and intelligence and superiority?

15. If you did that, what would you find?

16. Would it blow your mind to learn that relationships aren’t just nice, they are the stitching that keeps the patchwork of this entire damn world together, and that spending as much time and energy on them as you would anything else that matters would not only be essential, but crucial to you fulfilling your highest purpose as a human being?

17. Would it blow your mind to learn that even people who are surrounded by friends, in seemingly “happy” relationships, with families to return to every holiday and then some are sometimes still cripplingly lonely, because it’s a matter of how you connect, not who you have around?

18. Are you aware of what your needs are in a long-term relationship?

19. Are you willing to advocate for those needs if they aren’t being met, or would you forego doing so for the sake of seeming more likable to your partner?

20. If you find the relationship you’ve been dreaming of, and then it doesn’t work out, what would your game plan be?

21. Would it surprise you to know that the most overlooked key to a happy, healthy relationship is the belief that even if said relationship dissolved, you could still carry on as a functioning, thriving human being?

22. Could it be possible that you’re not alone right now because you’re broken or unlovable, but because there is something profound and divine that you must discover, and it is only knowable through solitude?

23. If you knew that the love of your life was on their way, and that this time in your life was only temporary, what would you do with the nights you have alone? What would you invest your efforts in? Writing your book or scrolling through Facebook? Developing relationships with friends or envying people who have love? Learning to meditate or taking a swig of wine every time you feel the slightest bit uncomfortable?

24. Do you assume other people are doing you a favor by giving you love and spending time with you?

25. Do you ever think about the fact that they likely are just as hungry for love?

26. Do you ever think about what you can *give* to a relationship, as opposed to what you want to take?

27. Are you committed to a lifetime of growing with, and alongside, another human being, or is your mental image of love something that allows, and supports, unconditional acceptance that is, in reality, complacency?

28. Are you willing, or ready, to let go of every preconceived notion you had about how love would come, what it would look like, and what your partner would be like? (You need to.)

29. What are you willing to suffer for in this life? You suffer over your fears, your thoughts, your work… what about the one thing that’s actually worth it? Are you willing to give it your all, fail a few times, and then reach the end (love, commitment) only to find that dating was the walk before the run, the beginning of the real work?

30. Are you ready to let it gut you and help make you the person you were intended to be?

Read More

12 Things You Should Know Before Dating a Woman Who Doesn’t Mind Being Single

Being single is this amazing woman’s choice, not because she has been blacklisted by half of the population. She buys her own flowers and decorates her own soul; under no misconception that she is defined by having a partner. She doesn’t worry about her relationship status because she is fulfilled with herself, with her life and choices and dreams and purpose. She is also probably surrounded by suitors because well, confidence is sexy. And there are things you need to understand if you are one of these that hope to woo her.

1. She’s probably had her heart broken recently.
This means she will be extra cautious, fragile, sensitive and aware.

2. She’s not looking to take care of you.
Your laundry, cooking and “atta-boys” are not her responsibility. She needs you to understand your role as a lover and partner, not mother, maid or shrink.

3. She knows what she’s into.
At a certain age we all know how we like our coffee, how we like our steak, and how we like our men (or women). This self-awareness is hard-won and in a way, liberating. She respects the bumps and bruises that led to this knowledge.

4. She’s a lion and a princess.
Is she sitting around and waiting to be rescued? Ha! Hardly. She’s a lion, out there taking charge and making her own way in the world. She does however, appreciate gallantry and courtesy. And will treat you in kind.

5. She’s looking for a partner, not a crutch (if she’s looking at all).
She likes inspiration, a cheer squad in her corner and a complex and challenging partner, but she doesn’t need it. There is nothing about a needy relationship that thrills her. She’s complete and validated with herself and through herself. Sexy, isn’t it?

6. She appreciates the freedom to make a sandwich at 2a.m. Naked.
Living alone has certain appeal: freedom. She recognizes this and revels in it. Asking permission and incessant/unnecessary contact is not appealing, believe me.

7. She expects you to have your own life, because she certainly has hers.
She knows a person cannot make another person whole or complete. A relationship is there to enrich your lives and share with each other, so seeing you have your own friends and hobbies gives her a great sense of relief.

8. She flies solo really well.
She likes talking to strangers, exploring new things, trying new food, traveling. These make her feel connected and adventurous. Her self-esteem, self-awareness and self-reflection are all high and accurate. Not that she’s perfect. But she’s damn close and having fun experiencing all that she can!

9. She’s her own “Killer of Spiders”.
For this, she deserves a badge of honor. There are handymen- tinkering around fixing parts and problems. She doesn’t need a handyman because she’s her own; from fixing her car to exterminating arachnids, she’s got this.

10. She lives and loves wholly.
She doesn’t settle for less in a romantic relationship (that is courage and strong will). She does however love her family, friends and previous partners. She is giving to all who she loves and just because a previous relationship ended, doesn’t mean it ended with animosity.

11. She’s enjoying it.
She might not be “attached” or in the “it’s serious” stage, but you can be certain she’s having a hell of a time dating.

12. She’s a straight shooter.
That stuff we did in middle school: the gossip, insincere compliments, dramatic ploys for attention? It’s not in her repertoire, there’s no point and it makes no one feel good. Which doesn’t mean she doesn’t engage in witty repartee, she just chooses to respect herself and others.

Read More

Why Dating A Woman from A Different Culture Helps You Grow

Why will you date a woman with a different culture? The question goes far beyond race or ethnicity but is built on how relevant and unique they are. Dating a woman with a different cultural background will help you understand the world and yourself more.

1. They appreciate learning about other cultures
They are not stiff or rigid. They take the time to understand the traditions in other cultures and be respectful of others. They want to have a feel for other cultures.

2. They are adventurous
They are willing to learn and perceive what is going in the world around them. They are respectful of other cultures. They would want to understand what is going on in the world that surrounds them. Perhaps this is why they are very good travelers.

3. They are strong
We all have different preferences in the kind of women we date. But a strong woman is always ideal for her partner. When you have a strong woman as your shield or as your mate who can hold her ground and that you can be proud of.

4. They are passionate
A life without passion is not worth living. But when you have passion and enthusiasm to spur you, you definitely can be able to influence your world positively. A woman who is of different culture from you is positively driven when she wants to attain a goal and such push in a world of so much diversity does make her stand out.

5. They are loving and committed
Imagine how hard it could be for a woman to accept a whole different culture when it comes to relationships. She loves with her entire soul and is committed to her partner. The devotion to their partners can be the greatest gift to you.

6. They are beautiful
They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. The more you spend time with a girl with a different cultural background, the more you find her incredibly beautiful but from within and without. Such beauty is something you want to hold on to. While some people place so much emphasis on physical beauty, you would treasure this girl’s inner beauty more.

7. They are respectful
They do not have any reason to burn out the relationship with arrogance and egotism. Perhaps this is one quality that establishes their feminism that they are willing to reason and perceive the world for what it is. They are clear and distinctive. And through such actions they are there to charm you all the way in a relationship.

Set a goal for yourself

"If a long distance relationship survives, it'll only grow stronger. So I'm going to make it work."

Read More

7 Things You Should Know About Dating Guys Who Have Kids

You’re back on the dating scene and met this wonderful guy. You get the impression you met someone who’s serious and hoping to settling down someday. You like him…I mean really like him. He’s given you hope and opened a door you once closed. He has a nice job, his own place, a car in his driveway and surprise…he has a kid. Dating is already complicated and when you add a kid to the mix, it can be a recipe for drama.
Here are a few tips about dating a guy with a child…

1. His kid comes first.
As it should be! His child should ALWAYS be number one. He has a responsibility and an obligation to uphold. If you’re dating someone who’s child doesn’t come first…he isn’t the one for you! One thing you’ll learn about dating a guy with a child is things will not go as planned. His child may get sick during a date or he will cancel plans because he needs a babysitter. Anything can come up and it’s important for you to realize that you’re not the only person in his life. Be patient and understanding.

2. Your relationship may start as a secret.
In the beginning, he may tell no one about you. Don’t worry! He has someone else to think about besides himself. He doesn’t want women walking in and out of his life. He’s smart to take things slow with introductions because a child shouldn’t be involved in the dating process. Stability is important! It’s a good move to make sure things are going well before bringing someone into a child’s life. You don’t want a child to become attached, and that person doesn’t stick around for the long haul.

3. His ex is here to stay.
Yes, you’ll be reminded of their past together. I know it’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s something you have to accept. They have a history together and will interact with one another. When dating a guy with kids, there’s no room for jealousy. Those insecurities you held in earlier relationships need to be pushed out of your mind. This isn’t a traditional break-up where the ex is no longer present. Even if you don’t care for her actions, it’s important to respect she’s the mother of his child. Don’t get into any arguments with her. The last thing you want is to add unnecessary stress. The communication between them is for the sake of their kid. Trust your man and keep faith in your relationship!

4. Emergencies will come up.
As soon as you guys are all dressed up and ready to go…he gets a call. It’s his child’s mother, and she needs him to give them a ride. You’ve waited all week for this night and it will not happen. I know you’re disappointed, but it comes with the package. If you had things your way most of your life, it’s time to change. It’s no longer about you! When you date someone with a child, you’re agreeing to accept all that comes with it. Think hard and ask yourself if you’re ready for this commitment.

5. Pace yourself.
Don’t rush into things! It’s okay to take your time and pace yourself. Eventually, you’ll meet his child. You hope to form a bond because you care for this man. His child extends him, so it’s a valuable relationship you’re entering.

6. He’s ready for a serious commitment.
He already has his life figured out! He knows what he wants and where he wants to be. His life is no longer centered on selfish acts but now focused on his little one. He has someone who looks to him for guidance.

7. Be independent.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a life outside of your partner. There will be times when he isn’t available. When he’s spending alone time with his child, you should be out with friends or enjoying some me time. That way you’re not sitting around…feeling left out or neglected.

Read More

8 Amazing Things Only Couples With Common Interests Can Experience

    “I wonder how many people don’t get the one they want, but end up with the one they’re supposed to be with.” – Fannie Flagg

Like Fannie rightly puts above, love is always found and for those who don’t get the ones they had found, there is always someone better for them. While also defining love in its profoundness, some like to relate it with compatibility while others do with commonality. Quite frequently though, common interests play a very vital role in making the bond strong and understanding each other better.

This article here presents to you a list of such amazing things that only couples with common interests can experience.

1. They are more understanding during the difficult times.
For couples sharing a common career interest, for example lawyers or engineers, the partners can better understand the hard times that one has to go through and the struggle to even earn for living.

The partners also understand how hectic the work can get and be easy with the tough schedule of their partner or might even get one theirself according to their routine. It’s something like having your lover also as your best friend.

These understandings do not only play a motivational role but also the couples can work as an assistant for each other by being of some good help during difficult times.

2. They have perfect holidays and weekends.
For couples having similar favorite adventures or hobbies, they can spend their holidays and weekends with all the fun and excitement.

Imagine both partners crazy about cycling, rock climbing or even travelling. They can spend their holidays or weekends without having to compromise each other’s interest. They can help each other with something they know well about f.e. a sport and foster their love in their mutual love for the game.

These experiences that they together gain can help them better explore into the persona of each other. In this way, both can better realize the weaker and stronger aspects of each other.

3. They always have something to share together.
Generally, the couples having common interests have more common topics to talk about and share ideas on. Their similar choices that could range from sports to academic fields, keeps them engaged in a conversation that they both love to have.

They can have a good dinner table talk, visit a theatre because they both love to or maybe keep dancing to some music. Having topics of similar interest not only helps the couples have a good conversation but it also interestingly keeps them thinking of their partner whenever something related comes across them.

4. They know the personality of their partner better.
Such couples generally get to spend more time together than other couples because they have so many things in common. Just as mentioned above, such couples can spend their holidays doing something that both of them love.

While spending more time together, the partners get the chance to learn more about the inner personhood of their partner. These learnings can be really helpful in deciding how to handle the relationship in a matured way. Understanding each other’s personality is not only important in making the relationship last for a longer time but also helps both of them live happily together.

5. They have personal growth within the same space.
Relationships play a significant role in motivating people to achieve their goals. In a relationship, when both the partners share similar interests, one can assist the other grow not only career wise but also as a person in whole.

The couples can learn from each other and even struggle or live through the hard times together. Each of them can work as a helping hand to the other, in a way helping both grow in a common way. With all these motivational factors and their working together to achieve the common goal, efforts from two should definitely bring better fruits.

6. They create unforgettable memories together.
In a relationship when both the partners have attraction, interest or love for a common thing, they tend to explore such things. This will not only make the couples content with their relationship but also helps them create unforgettable memories.

For someone loving extreme sports or simply travelling, what could be better than to have a partner having the same interests who would love to accompany them on such adventures? What in fact a person loves to recall as memories are the good moments that have passed away.

7. They have expert’s opinion when needed.
Interestingly, for couples having common interests, one can guide the other in times of difficulty or confusion. One can play the role of an expert and deliver good advice at times of need because of their earlier experiences on the subject, which is quite common for people with common interests.

This however, will also make the partners dependent on each other or in another sense respect each other for their support, which in turn gives rise to the feeling of being compatible with each other. One can also learn from the mistakes of the other. These traits are very essential for enduring relationships with the partners assisting each other in times of trouble with solutions they really know about.

8. They have a long-lasting relationship.
The couples sharing common interests understand each other’s troubles better, always have something to share with each other and get to spend lots of time together, all of which we have already discussed in the article.

Interestingly, these characteristics lead to a much stronger bond because both the partners feel connected, attracted and loving towards each other exactly because of their common interests.

These traits really help in making the relation more beautiful and lasting for a longer time. With many things in common and a better understanding of each other, the partners love spending more time with each other. This helps them create a life-long bond.

Read More

10 Characteristics Of Highly Desirable Men

Most men are shadows of their former selves that have died a long time ago.There was a time when they were passionate and adventurous. There was a time when they wanted to conquer the world and show everyone that they have what it takes to be a real man. Unfortunately, this time is long gone. Along the way, something happened. Life happened.

They didn’t achieve their goals on the first try and then gave up on their dreams without ever trying again. As a result, they came to the conclusion that their dream of living an extraordinary life was nothing but an unrealistic illusion. These are the same men who complain that no women are interested in them.

On the other hand, there are guys who didn’t give up on their dreams and who continue to improve and to challenge themselves every day, no matter how often they fall down and have to get up again. These are highly desirable men who get the job, the relationships, and the life they want. Let’s have a look at the 10 characteristics that you need to have if you want to become one of those men.
 
1. They reveal their authentic self
Highly desirable men don’t have to hide behind a mask. They don’t have to pretend to be someone they are not. They know that the people they meet want to get to know their real selves and not some fake mask that they put on in order to hide their insecurities.

While other men try to convince the people around them that they are perfect in the hope that nobody sees their internal conflicts, a desirable men accepts his vulnerable side and isn’t afraid to show it to the world. Real men have the courage to accept their vulnerable side, while boys continue to hide behind a mask.
 
2. They treat other people with respect
Respect is a two way street. The people around you will treat you with the same respect that you have for them. Life is so much easier when you treat the people in your life in a respectful way. Instead of hate, you will attract love, and instead of toxic relationships, your internal attitude will attract healthy relationships.

However, other people are not the only ones who you should treat with respect. A truly desirable man treats himself with the same respect that he treats other people with.
 
3. They love women
It was Zan Perrion, one of the greatest romancers of this day and age, who said that a man who loves women and proclaims it to the world is loved by women. It is quite shocking to see how many male bloggers write about women as if they were the enemy. The problem is that a man who regards women as his enemy will never be able to attract emotionally healthy women in his life, which eventually leads to more frustration and hate.

In the same was that you don’t want to date a woman who hates men, a woman doesn’t want to date a man who hates women. If you want to become a man who is desired by women, you have to rethink your attitude towards them and learn to love them. Women are amazing, intelligent, and loving human beings who deserve your love.
 
4. They do work that matters
If you work in a job you hate and nobody in your company cares about what you are doing, you should prepare yourself for a change. We men want to build, establish, and grow things. When we do work that doesn’t matter to us, the flame that enlightens our passionate and creative side has not enough oxygen to survive. If we miss this piece of the puzzle, our life feels empty.

A desirable man doesn’t waste his time with work that doesn’t have any meaning for him and the people who pay him to do it. He doesn’t settle for a job until he finds something meaningful.
 
5. They value a supportive relationship
Some men are so desperate that they don’t care if they have a supportive girlfriend or a girlfriend who doesn’t support them on their journey, as long as they have one. Some men are not ready for love and will subconsciously sabotage every fulfilling relationship they have.

A desirable man doesn’t do that. As the great man you are, you value a supportive relationship. You are not afraid of love and commitment, even though so many other men are absolutely terrified of this emotional cocktail. You are ready to settle down with a truly amazing woman who supports you on your journey, and you appreciate every second you spend with her.
 
6. They follow their own path
There are a lot of distractions on the path to success, but a great man ignores those distractions and follows his own path. As a desirable man, you listen to the opinions of your family members and friends and you thank them for their input, but in the end you always follow your heart.

If your intuition tells you to turn left and your parents tell you to turn right because they think that this way is safer, you should always turn left. Follow your path and you will eventually reach your harbor.
 
7. They are willing to take risks
If there is no risk, there is no reward. No matter what you want to achieve in life, you have to take risks to get it. That’s why women are magically drawn to ambitious men and often mistakenly labeled as gold diggers. They are not attracted to men who are financially successful, but to men who have the potential to become successful. If you are a potential winner, you will get the first prize.

This can be the girl of your dreams, the house of your dreams, or the fast car that you dreamed of when you were a little boy. The only way to get any of those things is by taking risks, and the only way to become a desirable man is by being a risk-taker.
 
8. They have a plan for life
Do you have a plan? Most men don’t. A lot of guys don’t take the time to think about what they really want in life. They have absolutely no clue how the hell they ended up in the position they are in and where the journey will take them. If you ask them where they see themselves in ten years they can’t give you an answer. Don’t be that kind of guy.

No woman wants to be together with a guy who has no idea if he will be homeless in ten years or president of the United States of America. Take your time and think about your next destination. Once you know where the journey will take you, women want to follow you until you reach your destination.

9. They are emotionally strong
A man who is desired by women doesn’t cry when something doesn’t work out the way he planned. He doesn’t sink into depression as soon as he fails. Instead, he analyzes why it didn’t work and he finds a way to make it work. In order to belong to the group of highly desirable men, you have to be emotionally strong.

You can’t be a guy who falls down like a tree without roots as soon as you have to overcome an obstacle, yet still expect women to admire you. Your emotional strength is the proof that you are a man who is able to survive the pitfalls of life. I hope you know that women want survivors.
 
10. They make an impact on the world
A truly desirable man is a man who doesn’t only care about his own life, but who also cares about the lives of the people around him. He wants to make an impact and he doesn’t plan to leave the world without changing a few lives.

There are many ways to make an impact on the world. You can either contribute by supporting charity projects, or you can contribute by helping people to achieve their goals by mentoring and supporting them. No matter what path you choose, giving back and helping others is the greatest gift that you can give to the world. In return, you will get more than you could possibly ask for.

Set a goal for yourself

"If a long distance relationship survives, it'll only grow stronger. So I'm going to make it work."

Read More

10 Signs You Have The Coolest Girlfriend In The World

Most men make a few mistakes before they find a girl who is perfect for them. There are lots of things that you find out while you are with someone; for example they could be selfish or extremely high maintenance.

This can result in you feeling sad and unloved, but as you grow older you become more aware of what you want in a relationship. The perfect girl is out there – maybe you have already found her?

Check out 10 signs that your girlfriend is one of the coolest in the world.

1. She is independent
No one wants to become a part-time carer for their partner, but some partners can be so needy and clingy that you end up feeling like their babysitter. A great girlfriend is independent and strong; instead of needing you there, she simply wants you to be there because she enjoys your company. Without you, her life doesn’t fall apart; she just gets on with it.

2. She is interesting
You and your girlfriend should be able to have conversations that last for hours and truly interest you. A relationship can last a lifetime, so it is important to find a girlfriend who interests and excites you.

3. She gets on well with your family and friends
Your girlfriend should be interested in your personal life, and she should be keen to meet the other people in your life. Even if she isn’t BBF with your little brother, it should be obvious that she is trying to love the people that you love.

4. She is intelligent
Your girlfriend should open your mind up to new ideas and perspectives, teaching you new things while making you question what you already know. This is important for any long-term relationship; without intelligence conversation is difficult, and without conversation it is likely that the relationship will turn sour.

5. She is there for you when you are feeling low
Your girlfriend is the one person who you can go to after a seriously hard day. She is the person who will listen to you vent before offering a much-needed hug. If your girlfriend is dismissive of your problems, there may be deeper problems in the relationship.

6. She respects you
Respect is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. A great girlfriend won’t share your secrets with others, and she won’t try to push you around. It is worth noting that the respect must be mutual; you give respect to earn it.

7. She makes you want to be a better person
When you meet someone truly amazing, they will inspire and motivate you to a be a better person. From advancing your career to becoming more compassionate, there are endless ways that your girlfriend can motivate you to be better.

8. She accepts your individual interests
In a relationship, both partners will have their own individual interest. An awesome girlfriend will encourage you to follow your interests, and she will continue to pursue her own. No matter how much she loves you, she understands that you love other things too.

9. She makes you laugh
Laughing is the ultimate sign of happiness, and your girlfriend should regularly crack you up. Relationships have highs and lows; without someone who can make you laugh, the lows will be a lot more noticeable.

10. She loves you for who you are
A great girlfriend doesn’t want to change her boyfriend. She will embrace all of his quirky traits, and she will even find them cute. If your girlfriend is trying to change you, it might be a sign that you two aren’t well suited. The girl who is loves you for you will never try to change who you are.

Love This Article? Share With Your Friends

Read More

15 Things Mature Women Don’t Do In Relationships

Do you think you are mature in relationships? Relationships can come with their own unique struggles, but there are some things that are universally immature and worth avoiding for a happier relationship.

Check out 15 things mature women don’t do in relationships.

1. They Don’t Sacrifice Other Relationships
Many people drift apart from their friends during a relationship. While this is understandable during the initial ‘honeymoon’ period, it is important to remember that that your friends and family have been in your life for far longer than your partner. Mature women make sure they have a happy balance between all of their loved ones.

2. They Don’t Forget To Thank Their Partner
After you have been in a relationship for a while, it can be easy to forget to appreciate all of the little things that they do for you. Mature women realize that sharing your life with someone is a gift – so don’t forget to say please and thank you!

3. They Don’t Give Up Financial Independence
No matter how well off your partner is, completely giving up your financial independence can actually mean giving up your independence. Mature women don’t have to ask their partner for everything – it makes them feel proud and happy to be able to buy things with their own money.

4. They Don’t Focus On Their Partner’s Bad Traits
Mature women try to focus on their partner’s best traits rather than the negative ones. They focus on the good things their partner does and says, and they try not to judge their partner for their flaws, instead understanding that they too have flaws.

5. They Don’t Give Up Their Dreams
Mature women understand that a great relationship doesn’t drag you down – instead, it should bring out the best in you. A good relationship encourages you to pursue your dreams, and a mature woman would struggle to be happy in a relationship if she stopped following her dreams.

6. They Don’t Think Their Version Of Happiness Is The Only One
Mature women understand that everyone’s idea of happiness is different. If their partner enjoys space, they give it to them, and if they enjoy affection, they give them that instead. Most importantly, they do not make assumptions about how to make their partner happy.

7. They Don’t Give Up Their Self Respect
It is normal to change slightly during a relationship, but mature women don’t allow their relationships to take away their self-respect. They don’t allow their partners to speak to them negatively or condescendingly – they expect their partner to treat them just as well as everyone else in their life.

8. They Don’t Take “I Love You” Lightly
Mature women understand the importance of those three words, so they work hard to keep the words special, no matter how long they have been with their partner. They don’t say ‘I love you’ at the end of every conversation – instead they say it at the right moments, to show their partner how much they appreciate them.

9. They Don’t Give Up Their Happiness
Mature women understand the importance of their happiness, and that if they are not happy in a relationship, they shouldn’t be in one. They are aware that their partner is a part of their happiness, and should be someone who can bring them happiness when they are feeling sad.

10. They Don’t Feel Like They Need To Always Be In Contact With Their Partner
Mature women do not need constant contact in their relationships, as they have their own busy lives. They are secure enough to trust their partner when they are not with them, and find non-stop emailing and texting to be a waste of their own time.

11. They Don’t Let Their Partner Make All The Decisions
In a mature relationship both partners respect each others decisions. This can range from big decisions, such as getting married and having children, to smaller ones, like which restaurant to eat at tonight. Either way, your partner should always consider and respect your decisions – and vice versa!

12. They Don’t Share Their Relationship With The World
Mature women understand the value of keeping their relationship between themselves and their partner. They dislike the idea of the world knowing their business, so they avoid discussing their arguments on social media and instead focus on communicating with their partner to solve the problem.

13. They Don’t Give Up Their Space
Mature women know that no matter how great their relationship is, they still occasionally need time alone. From going to the gym to curling up with a good book, mature women value their time alone and actively seek out ‘me-time’.

14. They Don’t Resent Their Partner’s Achievements
Mature women understand that loving someone means you want them to be as happy as possible. They embrace their partner’s happiness and celebrate their achievements with them, rather than holding their partners back for more selfish reasons.

15. They Don’t Give Up Their Identity
When you start a new relationship, it is normal to become interested in your partner’s hobbies and interests. It can be a lot of fun to share interests together, but mature women do not let themselves lose their own interests and hobbies for someone else. Instead, they remain interested in both their partner’s hobbies and their own.

Can you think of anything else that mature women don’t do in relationships? Comment your ideas below!

Read More

10 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do in Relationships

Most of us remember a crazy relationship we were in, or a time we acted crazy toward someone we love. Looking back, it’s often difficult to remember what our mindset was in that moment. We ask ourselves, “Did I really act like that?” I wish I knew more then than I know now about how to be a better partner, son, and friend.

The sad reality is that we just aren’t taught how to be mentally strong when faced with adversity. The good news is that it’s never too late to start. Here are 10 things mentally strong people DON’T do when it comes to relationships.

1. They don’t analyze everything
Mentally strong people don’t analyze the meaning behind everything someone else does. As an introvert, I pride myself on my ability to find the deeper meaning in life. But I caution you not to get to caught up in analyzing everything! Sometimes a head scratch is just a head scratch. (It doesn’t mean they are bored with you and would rather be with someone else.)

2. They don’t believe the other person will “complete” them
Mentally strong people complete themselves before they look for someone else to enhance their lives. You have to enjoy your own company first and nobody else can replace that part of you. Many people live their lives as if they were a character in a romantic comedy, and believe that they must eat, sleep, and breath their partner. Mentally strong people remind themselves they are complete just the way they are.

3. They don’t bring up the past to justify the present
Mentally strong people don’t bring up the past to win an argument or use it as relationship collateral. They try to work toward improving the relationship in that moment, instead of bringing up past events to justify their actions. Mentally strong people seek to live in the moment by understanding that the past has its place but will never solve today’s problems.

4. They don’t look outside the relationship to improve the relationship
Mentally strong people devote their full attention to themselves and their partner, when it comes to fixing problems in the relationship.  They don’t seek another person to fulfill their needs. They don’t become distant and justify their behavior by looking outside of the relationship to feel better about themselves. They don’t engage in destructive behavior to avoid the inevitable.

5. They don’t put the other person down to feel better about themselves
Mentally strong people understand that you don’t treat other people this way. It’s a lot easier to blame someone else for the way you act or feel, instead of looking at why you react the way you do. Mentally strong people know that the only way to have a successful relationship is to lift the other person up, not put them down in order to temporarily feel better about themselves.

6. They don’t stop communicating
Mentally strong people communicate with others in the good times and in the bad. They don’t avoid conversations that need to be had. They seek to better understand their partner, instead of avoiding topics that are uncomfortable or awkward. The mentally strong don’t avoid things because they are uncomfortable, but rather look at these situations as welcome opportunities to improve the relationship.

7. They don’t stop loving themselves
Mentally strong people love themselves first, so they can love other people, not the other way around. Mentally strong people spend time improving their lives first, before they try and help anyone else. They know that by radiating love, it will only help the relationship succeed. Mentally strong people put themselves first.

8. They don’t believe they can fix the other person
Mentally strong people help their partners in any way they can, but they understand that they cannot change the other person. Only an individual can change them self. Mentally strong people don’t live in the future and convince themselves that if only they put enough effort or time into someone, then that person will change. Moreover, mentally strong people seek to understand the other person’s perspective, before they try and offer them advice.

9. They don’t try to make relationships progress faster
Mentally strong people accept that the relationship will develop in the right way. Of course, there are ways to improve the relationship and develop a deeper understanding of one another. However, mentally strong people know deep down that they can’t force something that will take time to develop. They give up control and surrender to the natural progression of the relationship.

10. They don’t stay in unhealthy relationships
Mentally strong people know when a relationship of any kind is no longer working. Not only do they look out for themselves, but they look out for the other person by communicating clearly. They understand that they’ve put in as much time and effort as they could, but would rather spend that time on someone who is right for them. The mentally strong know that everything will work out just fine.

It’s a lot easier to find fault in someone else, especially when we become vulnerable and trust someone we love. I encourage you to be mentally strong first, then ro seek someone who complements who you already are. Only through self discovery can we better understand the types of people who will enhance our lives.

To successfully improve any relationship, you no longer seek to change the other person, but you will instead seek to continually enhance a long and prosperous life together.

Read More

10 Ways You’re Making Your Relationship Harder Than It Has To Be

 1. You assume that true love should be easy.
When you fall in love, even the most mundane aspects of life suddenly take on new meaning. As much as you enjoy watching your favorite movie, it’s doubly awesome to watch it alongside your significant other so you can experience the cinematic pleasure from their perspective too. But while living day-today with someone you love can be incredibly fulfilling, it isn’t easy—not even for the happiest couples. There will be days when you wake up quasi-hating each other, stretches of time when your moods fall out of sync and you can’t seem to enjoy each other’s company at all, and weeks when everything seems to be going wrong for no reason. Love isn’t some magical force that protects you from Life’s shit. You have to work hard to steer through all the crap if you want to stay together. True love takes teamwork, and it’s hard AF.

2. You’re a little too truthful with each other.
I hate to burst anyone’s romantic bubble, but total transparency doesn’t facilitate lasting love. You don’t have to be totally honest with someone to build a foundation of trust. Sometimes, fibbing or omitting the truth is the decent thing to do. Your partner will need you to lie to them sometimes—to protect them from the reality that you woke up in the middle of the night fantasizing about another man or woman, or that they don’t actually look amazing in that new outfit you can sense they feel so confident rocking. There are times when a little white lie can go a long way in sparing a person pain and heartache. As long as you’re well-intentioned, skirting the truth isn’t always such a bad thing to do.

3. You compare your relationship to others’.
It’s tempting—natural, even—to draw comparisons. With everyone broadcasting the highlights of their lives over social media and using ridiculous hashtags (e.g. #proudwife #solucky #loveourlife) to accentuate their boastful posts, it’s virtually impossible not to feel like you’re falling short in the happiness department sometimes. You want to be sure that you’re in a “good relationship”—that you’re not less happy than you should be. But the fact is that social media isn’t an accurate portrayal of anyone’s life. You know this because you curate your own feed to reflect your best self, featuring only the most glamorous, loving moments, all of which are filtered. With or without social media, the only two people who know what’s going on in a relationship are the people who are actually in it. It’s impossible to know what other couples’ lives are really like, so measuring your relative happiness against theirs is a laughably futile exercise.

4. You look at fighting as a problem rather than a chance to learn.
Passion is awesome when it’s directed towards adoring the person you love, but when something goes wrong and your passionate feelings are suddenly coupled with acute anger, things can get nasty fast. When you know someone intimately, you have a lot of power to hurt that individual. At your weakest points, you will use that power recklessly. You will become the worst version of yourself, saying and doing things so out of character that your own behavior disgusts you in real time. You won’t stop—until you do. Every storm eventually passes, and when it does, it leaves an opportunity to learn in its wake. If you take something positive away from every battle, thereby seizing the chance it presents to do better, you will be far less likely to repeat the same mistakes. Fighting isn’t a sign of your impending downfall as a couple. It’s just part of the deal, really.

5. You don’t apologize enough.
The simple act of saying “sorry” regularly is critical. Why? Because you’re going to make a lot of mistakes as time goes by—some purely by accident, others out of complete idiocy, and still others because your inner jerk decides to shine through. Remember, you’re human. You’ll step on your partner’s already sore pinky toe at the suckiest time, you’ll forget to pick up the dry cleaning one night as you promised you would, or you’ll say something appallingly insensitive just to fuck with the person you love. Hopefully, you’ll regret every mistake you make, large and small. But feeling bad isn’t enough. You have to convey your remorse clearly every single time. If you want to grow as a couple, after all, you have to commit to personal growth, which requires shelving your ego and admitting when you’re in the wrong.


6. You dwell on the past.
Healthy relationships are built on forgiveness and acceptance. Your significant other is an accumulation of everything they’ve experienced to date, so you have to accept every piece of their past, including those relationships with exes you’d rather not acknowledge and those ridiculously misguided things they did as a young adult. If either person is consumed by frustration over things that occurred in the other’s past, contempt will eat away at the relationship until its totally dead. You have to let go—not just in the beginning, when you first learn the details of your partner’s history, but throughout the relationship. As time goes by and you accumulate shared experiences—some good, some bad—you’ll have to practice forgiveness and plow ahead without harping on the problems you once faced. The art of moving on requires compassion and patience, and it’s crucial to long-term contentment.

7. You fixate on the future.
It’s always a good idea to set goals as a couple and to work towards meeting them together. Tackling a new exercise regimen seems a lot more like a fun game and less like an impossibly gargantuan, unpleasant task when you do it with someone you love. So does saving up to buy a new car, or speculating about what life would look like with kids in the equation. But if all you can think about is what you want from your future together, you’ll end up devoting too much mental energy to what might be instead of what is. You have to be careful not to dream at the cost of appreciating the present.

8. You interpret every relationship doubt as a bad omen.
Only a fool is 100 percent certain of anything. No matter how deeply devoted you are to your boyfriend or girlfriend, you’re destined to doubt the strength of your bond occasionally. You will question whether or not you’re with the right person, and wonder if you’ll be able to make it long-term. You will speculate about what life would look like, had you made different romantic choices. There’s no shame in entertaining relationship uncertainty. Doubt creeps in when you least expect it, and it can feel like a serious betrayal of the person you love. But examining your life as an individual and as part of a couple is an entirely healthy pursuit. It certainly doesn’t mean that you weren’t meant to be together, or that you love your partner any less.

9. You fear change.
Change can be terrifying, but it’s also inevitable. Over time, circumstances beyond your control will force you to move or to switch careers or to adopt a new diet. You and your partner are both likely to change in ways you can’t predict at this very moment. You’ll pick up new hobbies and make new friends. One of you might join a different political party, or suddenly develop an interest in religion. People aren’t static. They’re fluid. You can’t shy away from change, even if it means deviating from the path that led you to each other. Instead, you have to find a way to evolve together.

10. You set outlandish expectations.
Falling in love isn’t the answer to everything. Your relationship, even at its best, won’t necessarily make you feel whole, or happy. You will still have to answer to yourself every day, and figure out how to lead a fulfilling life. You have to figure your own shit out, so to speak—and even when you have a supportive, loving partner at your side, it’s tough. Don’t expect love to fix your life. When you set crazy expectations like that, you set yourself up to be crazy disappointed. There’s no such thing as a one-way ticket to Happily Ever After.

Read More

50 Things You Need To Do For A Relationship To Last

Relationships are tough. Marriage is a tough bitch. And it’s certainly not for everyone. As a lawyer, I have handled a few divorces. Thank goodness there is such an alternative for people trapped in horrible circumstances. But if you’re inclined to weather sickness and health, richer and poorer — and even if you’ve just met the person with whom you want to be in a longterm romance — bring a short memory and a long sense of humor. You’re gonna need it.

1. Burn your blueprint.
Rid yourself of whatever fantasies you harbor about the bliss of coupled life. They’re not helping. There is no script, so don’t be disappointed when your fairytale gets hijacked.
 
2. Forgive.
Didn’t Jesus say something about forgiving someone not just seven times but seventy times seven? That would be 490 times….which should last you through your first 6 months. Jesus underestimated because, remember, he wasn’t married.
 
3. And forget.
If you forgive but don’t forget, did you really forgive? I know people who claim to have forgiven but still use every available opportunity to bring it up. And if you don’t want to forgive, forgetting works just as well.
 
4. Be a good teammate.
Life can come at you hard. One of the nice things about marriage and relationships is being able to have someone else in the bunker when you’re getting shelled.
 
5. Grow.
If you still have the same desires, opinions and beliefs at age 50 that you did at age 25, that’s your own damn fault. You will not, and should not, be the same person you were then.
 
6. And adapt.
Even if you stagnate, the person you’re in a relationship with will change. Don’t fight it. Embrace it, learn from it, be thankful for it.
 
7. Find your faith.
There is great comfort in believing in something or someone beyond our crude human existence. Explore this belief. Take this journey together.
 
8. Travel together.
Travel forces couples to rely on one another in unpredictable ways. It will also broaden your worldview and the way you value your relationship.
 
9. Travel separately.
I want to go to Australia and you want to go to Maine? Cool. Take lots of pictures. See you in a week.
 
10. Develop your own interests.
It seems counter-intuitive, but you will enhance your relationship when you pursue your separate interests.
 
11. Cultivate a wide, diverse circle of friends.
One of the greatest joys of living is meeting new people. And many of the people you meet will likely make you appreciate your mate even more.
 
12. Don’t keep score.
I know a couple who keeps track of the number of times each partner completes a household chore. Don’t do this. It’s exhausting. And childish.
 
13. Exercise.
You owe it to each other to be in the best physical health possible. The mental side effects from exercise will also be beneficial.
 
14. Practice self-awareness.
Take frequent looks in the mirror. Reflect on who you are and the contributions you are making to your relationship. Are you being judgmental? Unfair? Harsh? Hypercritical? Defensive?
 
15. Admit that you’re wrong (even, on occasion, when you aren’t).
This is both the easiest and hardest thing to do on this list. But this simple gesture will pay immeasurable dividends; it will help you grow and it’s just the right thing to do.
 
16. Celebrate accomplishments big and small.
Whether it’s a promotion at work or the police officer let you off with just a warning, find every occasion possible to toast your good fortune.
 
17. Surprise one another.
Fill up her car. Let him sleep alone in the bed once in a while. Buy some bacon.
 
18. It’s the good little things.
Holding the door, suggesting a movie night, paying attention. The reward for these is greater than the sum of the parts.
 
19. And it’s the bad little things.
Cracking your knuckles, spitting, clearing your throat, picking your nose, chewing ice. These are death by a thousand cuts to your relationship.
 
20. Cultivate your finer qualities.
When do you ever have an opportunity to really work on qualities that make you a better person? In a strong relationship, you can do it every single day. Qualities like patience, loyalty, compassion, trust.
 
21. The bathroom is private.
If you think it’s quaint to brush your teeth while I use the toilet, you’ll change your mind about that eventually. Trust me.
 
22. Talk about sex (but not just right before, during, or right after).
Sex is an important part of any relationship. But for some reason couples don’t want to discuss it unless they are in the throes of passion. Don’t make sex a taboo subject.
 
23. Encourage each other.
We all have insecurities. Your relationship is one place where you should be completely free to reveal these and your spouse should help you overcome them.
 
24. It’s okay to have secrets.
Even George Bailey slipped Violet Bick a $20 bill every now and then.
 
25. Avoid subtext.
This is a cowardly way to communicate. If you have something to say, say it. Don’t hint about it.
 
26. Put it down.
The toilet seat. Her cell phone. The beat.
 
27. Pick it up.
Your dirty sock. Your used tissue. The pace.
 
28. Don’t over-romanticize past (or future) relationships.
You weren’t that great and your ex isn’t that hot.
 
29. Never use the “s” word.
Don’t call each other “stupid.” That’s just stu…. not wise.
 
30. Offer solutions, not criticism.
Anyone can criticize. A good teammate (See Rule 4) will offer a way out.
 
31. Read.
To escape or to expand. Either way, it helps.
 
32. You are equals.
It doesn’t matter which one of you makes the most money. It doesn’t matter which one of you has the better REO Speedwagon vinyl collection. It doesn’t matter which one of you has the best nickname. It doesn’t even matter which one of you has the coolest food allergy.
 
33. Compliment each other.
Sincerely and often.
 
34. Respect each other’s friends.
You know your wife’s loud mouthed, insane friend Cathy who thinks you have weak bullshit and can’t believe you married her BFF? See below.
 
35. Know when to keep your mouth shut.
No list would be complete without the “Do these jeans make my butt look big?” lesson.
 
36. Indulge each other’s passions.
Scrapbooking doesn’t count.
 
37. Lose your arbitrary moral code.
This list alone proves that I am the king of the double standard. When I want to spend money on a new set of golf clubs, it’s a good investment. When my wife wants to spend money on new kitchen countertops, she’s a profligate. It’s not exactly fair.
 
38. Respect space and time.
Have we not evolved as a species or watched enough Dr. Phil to realize our mate does not want to answer the question “How was your day?” the minute he/she walks in the door?
 
39. Take pride in your appearance.
Your marriage license doesn’t give you a free pass to always wear sweat pants and T-shirts.
 
40. Maintain good hygiene.
Could your big toenail puncture a snow tire? Could your breath peel wallpaper? Take care of that, please. I don’t want to have to tell you again.
Seeds_EOA_Marketing
 
41. Ask before you throw it away.
Don’t touch that broken, ceramic, animated cactus tequila shot glass holder. I’m serious.
 
42. Invite his/her family to special gatherings.
At least once. Thankfully, this may be all you need.
 
43. Speaking of family, everyone gets a holiday card and a birth announcement.
Even your creepy Uncle Steve and their psycho cousin Lisa.
 
44. Don’t be petty.
So I forgot to stop at the store to get your prescription. Did you have to throw away my ceramic cactus shot glass holder?
 
45. Be self-sufficient.
Learn to do your own laundry. Know how to cook a meal; how to navigate the grocery store; how to make an online purchase; how to turn off the water to the house; how to erect a Nerf basketball hoop; how to unclog a toilet.
 
46. Everything is fair game for a joke.
This should be at the heart of everything you do. I have not found a single thing that I have been unable to eventually laugh about. If you know this from the beginning, it makes things a lot more fun.
 
47. Have good manners.
Don’t yell. Open the door. Help carry the groceries. Cover your cough. Hold your gas.
 
48. Be responsible with money.
No one lives on love. You need money. If you earned it, you will almost certainly respect it. If you didn’t earn it, you must respect it even more.
 
49. Remember to say thank you.
Even and especially when things don’t seem like they need to be acknowledged.
 
50. Adapting beats abandoning.
There will be moments when you want to quit, walk out, give up. You can do that. But you will probably be doing so without giving due consideration to the new life that awaits you. Will you be better off in six months? 10 years?

Read More

5 Tips On How To Get Over The Unnecessary Jealousy In Your Relationship

Why do we get jealous?

We see our partner across the room, having fun with someone else doing the things we would otherwise want them to do and instead of being happy for them, we get bitter and ruin the mood by our jealousy. Especially so if the person whose company our partner seems to be enjoying that much is female.

Is it because we don’t trust our partner? Is it because we don’t trust that woman?

While the answer to either or both of those questions might sometimes be a yes, more often than not it is a no. Why would we be with someone whom we don’t trust anyway, and why would we suspect the motives of a woman who might genuinely have no questionable motives and who we, under different circumstances might actually like?

Which brings me to another question that I will leave for you to answer; is jealousy the product of a false sense of entitlement?

More often than not, jealousy doesn’t have quite as much to do with your partner as much as it has to do with you. If you have tendencies to be not just jealous, but also defensive, take a deep breath and hear me out before you close this tab proclaiming this to be utter nonsense.

I’m no psychologist or behavioral analyst, but from personal experience and from observing other people in relationships, I have concluded that the main reason for jealousy is a feeling of inferiority or inadequacy, or even the consequence of putting your partner up on a pedestal.

You see your partner as a ‘God-like’ being who is the epitome of perfection; either because they were there for you through something that bonded you very closely to them (now making you the one with more to lose if they don’t feel as attached to you as you to them) or because they possess qualities that  you respect but have never been able to cultivate. Or you might even believe that their physical appearance wouldn’t normally land them with ‘a person like you’.

If you notice, even this tendency stems out of a feeling of inferiority, which is never a healthy base for any relationship. Seeing yourself as lesser and placing your partners needs above yours can never make for a fully functional, satisfying relationship, as jealousy is inevitable when you believe that your partner can

a) Do so much better than you

b) Get anyone he wants

because you see him as perfect and don’t understand why someone else wouldn’t.
In a situation where your issues aren’t being manifested through a tendency of putting your partner on a pedestal, insecurity directly manifests itself in a show of ‘over-attachment’, which is colloquial for clinginess or neediness.

You get clingy or needy because you believe that another person has a chance with your partner, because you see the other person as being better than yourself. In this case your jealousy finds socially acceptable reasons to be publicly (or even privately) manifested and more often than not, we believe those reasons to soothe our pride, which would otherwise be battered.

Unlike most issues couples have, jealousy, which if goes unchecked or becomes a chronic tendency, has the ability to wreck a relationship which otherwise would have had the potential to grow stronger and be successful.

Now that you know this, you might want to make certain changes to your method of coping with a sudden surge of emotions that you usually feel when you know you’re getting jealous; and like most issues the ‘green eyed monster’ can be overcome if you try hard enough.

1. For starters, you’ve got to understand your style of attachment with your parents or primary caregiver. Was it secure? Anxious? Avoidant? Once you’ve got that figured out you’ll know which areas you can work on and make a conscious effort to avoid falling into past patterns. It might be hard initially because it is after all an attempt to change your lifestyle, but it isn’t impossible.

2. The second thing you can do is figure out if the reason you’re getting jealous is because this situation reminds you of a situation from past experience which didn’t turn out well. If yes, then is the person you’re with reminiscent of the person you were in that situation with? If not, there’s nothing to worry about and you’re on your guard only because of a whiff of ghosts from your past. If this person is reminiscent of that person, though, rethink why you are together if they possess the same undesirable tendencies of your previous partner.

3. Once you’re certain that the reason for your jealousy has no concrete root in the outside world, look within and work on yourself. Do you think lesser of yourself? Do you underestimate your abilities? Do you mask your sense of inferiority under thundering claims of superiority over the rest of the population? If any of this is true, work on the area you believe you need to develop. Whether it’s your physical appearance, the way you speak, the amount you read, general awareness, sociability, whatever it might be. If you try to get better at something, you can, and nobody should be allowed to tell you otherwise.

4. If you believe that you need to meet people to feel more confident about yourself, go out and find something you love doing. Don’t just pretend to be doing something you love to prove a point to someone or show someone down, do what genuinely makes you happy. When you’re busy with your own life, you will have less time to overthink and hence even lesser time to burn in jealousy everytime someone likes his or her profile picture.

5. Trust your partner. They aren’t always seeking someone else or looking for an opportunity to cheat. If they’re with you, its because they appreciate you and when you understand that, you won’t find the need to be jealous even if he interacts with pretty, accomplished women all day long. Stop comparing, because you aren’t competing with anyone else for his affections.

Everything starts from within and starts with an initiative; If you must cut off toxicity from your life in the form of people, social media, apps, et al, do it without thinking twice.

When you’re less burdened by jealousy, not just your relationship, but even your life will begin to make you truly happy because you then will not be limiting either your partner or yourself from reaching your true potential.

Read More

14 Differences Between the Girl you Date and the Woman you Marry

Think about one of the questions below for a moment.

If you are married, in what way is the girl you dated different from the woman you married? If you are single or dating, in what way do you want the woman you marry to be different from the girl you are dating? What thoughts come to your mind? I bet you have a few thoughts, I also do.

After being married for over 3 years to my awesome wife, l can testify that the girl l dated is different from the woman l proudly call my wife. She has definitely improved in ways I never imagined, and for the better.

If you go through dating and your marriage journey, you will inevitable look back to realize the girl you dated is different from the woman are married to. To clarify, l do not mean she would become a brand new person. What l mean is that her priorities and perspective about life and marriage will improve in many ways. Hopefully, for the better.

Either way, the woman you marry will not be the same as the girl you dated.

1. The girl you date does not want to meet your family or friends, she wants you all to herself.
The woman you marry wants to know your family and friends. She knows without them, you would not be where you are, and who you are today.

2. The girl you date is overly worried about her nails been done all the time, her eyelashes looking in a certain style, and being beautiful for her peers. Her physical beauty is important to her.
The woman you marry is not overly worried about her nails being done. Instead, she is worried about being beautiful for her man, even if that means wearing no makeup. She focuses on her internal beauty and character building, because she knows real beauty comes from within.

3. The girl you date only cares about her career and her vision for life. She comes before the relationship, and does not make her future plans with you in mind.
The woman you marry cares about your career and your vision of life as well as her own. She knows you also have a plan, and works together with you to achieve the goals you both have. The marriage is her priority.

4. The girl you date loves the financial cushion you can provide.  She also expects something back whenever she gives.
The woman you marry wants to build a financial cushion with you. She believes that two heads will always be better than one. When she gives, she does not expect anything back.

5. The girl you date believes she knows everything.
The woman you marry is open to learning something new, and knows there is always room for improvement.

6. The girl you date is scared to tell you her deepest secrets.
The woman you marry will share her deepest secrets with you, even if it means losing you. She trusts you, and shares everything with you. She knows honesty is always the best policy.

7. The girl you date does not get excited about marriage and children (even if she wants to have some one day).
The woman you marry gets excited about marriage and starting a family with you.

8. The girl you date shows her cleavage all the time.
The woman you marry is more modest because she knows her attributes are for your eyes only.

9. The girl you date is not concerned about cooking for you.
The woman you marry loves not only to cook, but chooses delicious and healthy meals. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach after all, right?

10. The girl you date is overly concerned about how long you will be around, and how she can keep you.
The woman you marry is not too concerned about keeping you because she knows you want to have a future with her. She is mature enough to know you can never force someone to stay and that you each have to choose each other every day, again and again.

11. The girl you date is not willing to compromise with you.
The woman you marry is willing to compromise, and sees compromise as a necessity for a healthy marriage

12. The girl you date thrives on constant attention from you.
The woman you marry mirrors your affection and thrives on providing you with the love, support, and respect you need.

13. The girl you date tries to change who you are and compares you to her ex.
The woman you marry accepts you for who you are and will not compare you to her ex. She knows you are the best and that you cannot change another person no matter how hard you try.

14. The girl you date has to be entertained.
The woman you marry is someone you can have fun with, relax, do activities, or do nothing together and still enjoy each other’s company.

What are your thoughts on these differences between the girl you date and the woman you marry?

Read More