These 20 Regrets From People On Their Deathbeds Will Change Your Life

You’re going to die someday.

Perhaps the 5 most powerful words ever spoken to me. No matter how immortal we feel waltzing through life’s ups and downs, we all must someday stare death in its devious eyes as we reflect on our lives. Life is complex, sure. That’s a given. But if you really ponder for a moment, it can be boiled down to 2 feelings you’ll most likely be met with on your deathbed:

Triumph or regret.

Thankfully, every day is a great day to get better. Every day is a perfect day to change the track of your life, to reroute the potentially destructive path of a life wasted.

What better place to start than people in their final days:

1. I wish I wouldn’t have compared myself to others.
Everyone struggles with this, but there’s nearly nothing that’s so detrimental to fulfillment. Instead of comparing yourself to your friends, family, or idols, reflect on how far you’ve come as a person, even if it’s just the person you were yesterday.

2. I wish I’d taken action and dove in head first.
I’ll let you in on a little secret: there is no “right way.” So many people are paralyzed by the idea of what they want to be because they worry it won’t happen as quickly as they want. Well, it won’t. But what’s worse than dedicating time to your dream each day and seeing snail-like progress? A life wasted doing things you don’t want to.

3. I wish I’d tuned the world out more.
Everyone around you tries to dictate what you are or who you should be, but you let them. No one needs to validate your worth besides yourself, and you will someday deeply regret if you spend your life pleasing the world around you. Don’t worry about pleasing your parents, friends, or bosses. You need to worry about number 1 first and foremost. Always.

4. I wish I didn’t wait to “start it tomorrow.”
Excuses are plentiful because they’re so easy to make. You will always find reasons to validate your inaction, and this is a common cause of deathbed regret. The things you want to do tomorrow can effortlessly turn into things you wish you did 50 years ago.

5. I wish I’d taken more chances.
The fear of rejection or failure dissipates in the face of death. The pretty girl you didn’t ask out on a date, the job you didn’t apply for because you felt under qualified, or the business you believed in but didn’t start will weigh heavier on your shoulders than falling flat on your face and learning.

6. I wish I would have kept going.
Even if you are brave enough to take the chance, failure happens. Where this failure can turn into major regret, however, is a decision to quit. When you let the pressure of falling short overcome your love for your endeavor, you lost. Keep going.

7. I wish I’d told others how much I love them.
Everyone wants to feel appreciated, but very few are wiling to tell others how much they appreciate them. So often we are wrapped up in gaining love but fail to give it to the ones we care about most. Tell them often, before it’s too late.

8. I wish I was content with what I have.
Be it more money, more recognition, or more options, we always want more of something. Very few are able to take an honest step back and recognize that what they have is more than enough. It’s always good to want more from life, but it’s essential to truly appreciate what you have.

9. I wish I took better care of my body.
Today’s society tells us that “taking care of yourself” is synonymous with a chiseled six pack. This is by no means true. Making healthy choices is important in all facets of life, not just physical exercise. Not eating junk food, not smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, and not drinking every weekend are 3 pretty easy ways to start.

10. I wish I’d listened to others more.
Everyone thinks they’re right all the time and everyone has opinions that they sometimes force on others. It’s alright to have them, but it’s more important to have the ability to listen. Even if you don’t agree with the point of view, challenge yourself to hear others without passing judgement.

11. I wish I’d have not held that grudge.
It’s discouraging when someone hurts you, especially if that person means a lot to you. But harboring grudges hurts you in the long term more than it did initially.

12. I wish I’d have traveled more.
People often mistake that “traveling” has to involve a foreign country and a couple thousand dollars. Phooey. Jump in the car, drive an hour to a nearby city, and explore something you haven’t before. Don’t jail yourself in your house because of erroneous notions of what it means to travel.

13. I wish I’d have laughed it off.
You take yourself far too seriously. Heck, we all do. One of the major regrets people have in life is simply taking life too seriously. Bad things are bound to happen, sure. But they’re pretty much always not as bad as we make them out to be in our head. And isn’t life way more fun if we’re chuckling along with it?

14. I wish I’d left work at work (for only 40 hours per week).
Humans are hard wired to work and provide for the ones they love. However, this often comes at the expense of our loved ones because we spend so much stinking time wrapping things up at the office or putting in a couple hours emailing on the weekends. Here’s a newsflash: your job is going to still be there and exist when you die, but it’ll be someone else in the seat neglecting their family instead. Don’t let that happen.

15. I wish I stayed in touch with friends.
It’s normal for people to fall out of touch, but often it’s a result of a “they didn’t call me so they don’t miss me” mentality. If you truly miss someone and are wondering how they’re doing, chances are the other party is feeling the same way. Be the first to call, write, or visit. You’ll be glad you did.

16. I wish I was more aware of the real world around me.
I don’t believe this is a huge concern for people currently on their deathbeds, but for the millennial generation this will be a huge regret. We’re constantly plugged in everywhere we go. This encourages us to unconsciously ignore the beauty that surrounds us every day. Unplug and look up. You’ll be more satisfied with what you find than whatever drama Shandra is starting on Facebook.

17. I wish I had more confidence in myself.
Everyone is self conscious, especially those who appear very cocky and sure of themselves. A big mistake people make in life is not truly believing in their own ability. It’s such a shame because it’s so easy. Only you need to validate your worth.

18. I wish I trusted my intuition.
That little voice in the back of your head is there for a reason. Sadly, for many of us that voice can be self defeating and quite harsh about life. There are, however, many other occasions where that voice is the megaphone for the heart, telling you what you truly desire and deeply want. Listen to it.

19. I wish I ran with a better crowd.
Choose to believe this or not, but you are a direct result of the people you surround yourself with. If you run with idiots, chances are high you will become one. The beauty of life is that we have the conscious choice on who we spend our time with and what we spend our time doing. I can’t speak for you, but I seek people who will always challenge, encourage, and push me grow.

20. I wish I walked the walk.
Far too many people are good at vocalizing the life they want, but are horrendous at putting a plan into action to get there. It’s not enough to dream out loud, or quietly in your head. You must absolutely need to put yourself out there and leap into action.

We can all relate to the struggles and battles that life brings, but that doesn’t mean we have to roll over and take it. It’s tough, sure, but anything that’s worthwhile is. It really comes down to a simple choice: struggle for fulfillment now or wish you did in your final moments alive.

Only you can decide.

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10 Ways To Teach Your Kids To Have A Fearless Mindset

As a parent, you want your kids to grow up to be confident, happy, and successful adults, able to face the world head-on and make the most of every opportunity. But what can you do to help them overcome the fears that might hold them back? It’s worth remembering first that fear serves a purpose; it’s a natural human emotion to warn us of possible harm – a call to action to protect ourselves. However, in our modern world, fear often tends to be out of proportion to risk and can prevent us from achieving as much as we would like, and are capable of.

Here are 10 ways to help your kids develop a fearless mindset and overcome the fears that are holding them back.

1. Acknowledge the fear, don’t just dismiss it
Simply telling your child to not be afraid, or to stop being silly, isn’t an effective way to help them deal with it. You need to acknowledge it properly. Whatever you might think about the fear, it’s very real to them and they need to know that you get that. Give them the opportunity to talk about it, show that you really understand. The fear needs to be acknowledged first before you can help them to move on from it.

2. Let them know that failure IS an option
Society places such pressure on everyone not to fail, we can easily forget that failure is often a key part of the learning process. Most of the greatest inventions in history were the result of a long series of failed attempts before the final successful one was achieved. Don’t let fear of failure hold your kids back, let them know that it’s okay to fail sometimes, show them how they can learn from it in order to do better next time. Model this behavior for them, if you fail at something, show them how you turn it around into a positive.

3. Don’t pass your own fears onto them
This is one that most of us are aware of and yet, as parents, we’re probably all guilty of it at times. Realistically, you’re probably not going to be able to completely hide your fears from your kids at all times. What you can do however is talk it through with them, show them that you’re human, and you too are afraid of things that you don’t need to be afraid of at times. Show them how you deal with it and how you are working to overcome those fears.

4. Help them identify the actual fear
Often when people express a fear, they’re actually talking about something that is a step away from the fear itself – if someone says they’re afraid of flying, they’re probably not actually afraid of flying, they’re afraid of crashing. A child who says they’re afraid of monsters under the bed aren’t actually afraid of the monsters being under the bed, they’re afraid of them coming out from under the bed to hurt them. An important step in overcoming a fear is to clearly pinpoint what the actual fear is, so help them to do this and then work together to address it.

5. Show them the benefits
Sometimes a child can be so focused on the fear that they can’t see beyond it. Talk through the benefits of overcoming the fear with them, what they will gain, what it might lead on to. Ask them questions to encourage them to think of what the positive outcomes might be rather than just telling them. This will help to refocus their attention on to the other side of the fear barrier.

6. Remind them of previous times they overcame a fear
Reminding your child of a previous occasion where they were afraid to try something, but ended up enjoying it, can give them a little boost of confidence in their own abilities.

7. Avoid comparing them to others
Focus on your child, and what fears it is that they are aiming to overcome. Making continual comparisons to other kids can be unhelpful and may make your child feel inadequate.

8. Teach them to recognize valid fears
While overcoming fears is important, we need to remember that some fears are perfectly valid and healthy. If your child is afraid of jumping into a river full of crocodiles, then that’s good, that’s a fear that you don’t want them to overcome. Teach them to recognize the difference between important life-saving fears, and irrational fears, by talking through risks and consequences.

9. Show them how facing a fear can be done in small steps
Sometimes the best way to overcome a fear is to leap right into it, other times though it’s better to tackle it slowly and gently. Be guided by your child on this, if the fear is overwhelming for them, then show them how it can be approached in small stages, only moving on to the next stage when a certain comfort level is reached. Plan the stages with them ahead of time so that they are clear on what is going to happen, and don’t spring surprises on them or they won’t trust you next time.

10. Constantly remind them that they’re not alone
Probably the most important one is to remind them regularly that they don’t have to face their fears alone. If they feel secure in the knowledge that you will be there for them whatever the outcome, this will grow their fearless mindset and help give them the confidence to move forward.

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5 Simple But Effective Steps Motivated People Do To Overcome Frustration

On your journey to success you’re going to experience hardship and frustration; there will be times you’ll wonder if you’ve got what it takes to keep going, or why you decided to start in the first place. Anyone who has achieved anything great has endured pain and failure, but what separates the best from the rest is how they respond to adversity. Here are five things you can learn from motivated people to get out of a rut, and thrive:

1. They Focus On Actions, Not Feelings
Motivated people don’t take counsel from their feelings – especially when those feelings aren’t getting them closer to their goal. Ask any successful person if there have been days they didn’t feel like putting in the work because they were tired, stressed, or busy. The answer is going to be a resounding yes. Motivated people understand that feeling tired will lead to acting tired, and feeling stressed will lead to acting stressed. I’m not saying to discount your feelings, what I am saying is to act in spite of them. When you are truly passionate about what you want to accomplish, you’ve got to understand that you will run into obstacles, and experience frustration many times, but it’s about identifying what you need to do to be successful, and then doing it – regardless of if you want to or not. If you only put in hard work on the days you feel good, you won’t get much done.

2. They Reconnect To Their Purpose
When you discover why you do what you do, you’ll have more power to do it. The reason you might be experiencing frustration is because there is a disconnect between your actions and goals. Realign your day with your mission, and live your life on purpose, with purpose. As long as you know your “why,” you’ll experience detours, but not dead ends. If disappointment has clouded your view, use these three questions to create clarity:

1. Why do I do what I do?

2. What do I want to accomplish?

3. How do I want to be remembered?

3. They Think About Their Hero
Take some time to think about someone you truly admire. The person you’re probably thinking about has overcome some tremendous adversity, which is one of the reasons why you have so much respect and admiration for them. If you find yourself between a rock and a hard place, ask yourself, “What would [insert your hero] do?” This question will help you step outside yourself and find the strength to act in a manner that you wouldn’t otherwise do.

4. They Win In The Morning
Motivated people appreciate the gift of a new day. Every morning is an opportunity to start fresh, so take advantage! You don’t have to carry yesterday into today, so be sure to take control of your life, by taking control of what you do when you wake up. Motivated people understand that while there are many factors that are out of their control, they choose to focus on what they can control. If you’re in a slump, try this:

1. Write down what time you’re going to wake up tomorrow.

2. Write down your plan for the first 60-minutes after you wake up (i.e. workout, write in your book, meditate, etc.).

3. Wake up on time and do it (refuse to snooze).

4. Repeat every day.

5. They Look At The Bright Side
If you want to be frustrated, focus on frustrating things. If you want to be more positive, you’ve got to learn how to flex those optimistic muscles! It may be difficult at first, but do your best to look on the bright side of things, and see the good that is happening around you. This doesn’t mean being unrealistic, but it means accepting that your situation may not ideal. Identify not only what you’re going to do about it, but ponder how it will make you better and stronger. Motivated people understand that they give power to what they focus on. Why dwell on the negative when seeing the bright side is going to help you succeed.

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5 Ways to Overcome the Voice in Your Head

Your ego is the voice in your head that tells us we aren’t good enough, smart enough or pretty enough. If we allow ourselves to listen to it, it can seriously affect the way we live and love. Despite how often or how loud the voice in your head may be, you are the one in control. The ego doesn’t control you, unless you let it. You might spiral down a rabbit hole so deep, you don’t know how to crawl yourself back out.
Read Also: 5 Hacks To Overcome Your Ego

Here are five ways to tell your ego, you are the one running the show:
 
1. Say thank you.
By thanking the voice in your head, you aren’t fuelling its fire. The more loving kindness you give to the ego, the more it begins to dissolve. You can thank the ego and let it know, you are taking it from here. The more you try to fight the ego by telling it to ‘shut up’ or ‘piss off,’ the louder the voice becomes.
 
2. Tell the voice in your head you are good enough.
The ego can lead you to believe that you aren’t capable of doing the things you want to do. You might compare yourself to other people, which never ends well. All human beings have a need for significance, but it has to come from the inside out. You can’t solely rely on other people to make you feel good about yourself. Tell the ego that you matter and believe it, because you do.
 
3. Let the ego know, you’ve already done this.
Reminding the voice in your head of the things you’ve already achieved, overcame or accomplished allows you to shift your attention to the positive outcomes you’ve already experienced. The ego can’t doubt you if it knows you’ve already prevailed in the face of adversity.
 
4. Make sure the voice in your head understands you are comfortable with the uncomfortable.
The ego wants to keep you safe. It leads you to believe your ‘comfort zone’ is where you want to be, when you really just want to break free from the feelings of mundanity. Once you let the voice inside your head know you embrace uncertainty, it has no choice but to step down.
 
5. Understand the importance of feedback, so your ego does too.
Failure and feedback are one-in-the-same. When you don’t achieve the outcome you hoped for, you gain feedback based on your experience. You can learn from this, and change how you approach future opportunities or challenges. Challenges evoke growth and change. Let the ego know you need to fail in order to grow and succeed.  Some of the greatest achievers of our time had to fail hundreds of times. Here are some inspirational words about failure from basketball legend, Michael Jordan:

    “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
    Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.

    I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.

    Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships.

    I can accept failure, but I can’t accept not trying.

    Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.
    You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.

    If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.

    I play to win, whether during practice or a real game. And I will not let anything get in the way of me and   my competitive enthusiasm to win.

    My attitude is that if you push me towards something that you think is a weakness, then I will turn that perceived weakness into a strength.”

The more you compare yourself to others, think about what you don’t have, fear failure or wish you were someone else, the bigger and louder your ego becomes. You are not the voice in your head. In the words of Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth and The Power of Now:

    “Boredom, anger, sadness, or fear are not ‘yours,’ not personal.

    They are conditions of the human mind.

    They come and go.

    Nothing that comes and goes is you.”

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5 Hacks to Overcome Your Ego

    “We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”
    ― Carlos Castaneda

The ego, as Juan Matus describes it, is a dragon with one thousand heads. It is a destructive, blinding creature that forces us to believe that we are what we are, only in comparison with others. We spend energy believing this fiction, energy we could be using to enjoy life. What do you have to do to cut the heads of this dragon, overcome your ego, and claim your power back?
Also See: 5 Ways to Overcome the Voice in Your Head
 
1. Define your motivationWhat drives you to take on a challenge? Most of us, most of the time, are excited to explore, learn, and sense. As we seek a source of motivation in life we will encounter an antagonistic fight between our higher self and our ego. The ego will force us to be motivated by what we achieve and conquer, whereas our higher self wants us to learn, experience, and live. The big difference between learning-based motivation and accomplishing-based motivation is that failing to accomplish leads to a crisis of self-worth. A learning-based motivation is the best way to overcome your ego and your unreliable accomplishment-based motivation. We can always learn even when we don’t succeed!
 
2. Focus on the processLife is a process, not a trophy case. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Life is a journey, not a destination.” When we start acknowledging life and its true essence we will realize that what really matters is what we experience during life and not its outcomes. In the process of life we find all the beautiful and unforgettable experiences. We find all the laughter, tears, kisses and troubles. We find our real passions, interests, and worries. In the process of life we find all that really makes life meaningful and magical. Our ego will automatically make us absorb an attitude where all we want is to arrive somewhere and achieve something. Our ego does not care about the process as long as it achieves and feels superior. If we follow our ego, we will never enjoy the present moment and all the adventures we can be part of. If we don’t arrive somewhere or achieve something, our ego will make us feel useless, demotivated and purposeless. Overcome your ego so you can enjoy the now, focus on the process.
 
3. Don’t compare yourself to othersYour ego will always compare yourself with other people. That is its main source of power, the power that we want to claim back. When we compare our achievements and past performance with our present, sometimes we fall short. Sometimes we won’t succeed at something we had previously done or someone else has done. Our ego will punish us and make us fell inferior and useless. Our self worth will be affected and we won’t have a stable source of confidence. If we succeed and overcome others, our ego will make us believe we are superior and invincible, something which is certainly an illusion. Our self worth is totally subjective and should never be compared to others. This is what the ego wants to hide from us. We all have a value which is unmeasurable and unredeemable. Not comparing ourselves does not mean that we will keep a mediocre mentality with no goals. Not comparing ourselves means that we focus on becoming conscious about ourselves, destroying our unconscious habits and really knowing what we are made of.
 
4. Forget the habitual systemWe are all part of a system, a big dominating system. But more specifically, we are part of a reward/punishment system, or as I like to call it, the win-or-lose mindset. Since we were little babies, we have been always punished when we make mistakes. This continued into school, high school, university, work and probably even death. Heaven or hell, reward or punishment? This system is just a way of feeding our ego and completely destroying our capacity to value ourselves. Our ego will make us feel superior if we win and we will always expect a reward from our successes. If we lose and fail, our ego will crush us down and make us feel like an ant in Manhattan. Forget this system and start noticing that we are not circus animals who need a reward to feel valuable and a punishment to learn. We are independent beings, fully conscious and aware. We learn through experience. The only real reward we should look for is the knowledge and power we acquire throughout our lives.
 
5. Stop the boastful talkOccasionally we mention our achievements, adventures and goals in conversation. Certainly it is a good icebreaker or conversation material but if we want to have dragon meat for dinner we will have to reshape the way we talk. As we talk with someone, our ego will automatically measure itself with this someone. As this happens we will start naming places we went, things we achieved, things we have, stuff we have done, and so on. The ego will fill all the missing spaces in our talk with personal material, material that obviously does the job to make us valuable and hopefully awesome and superior. We are awesome and valuable without the need of telling everybody our achievements, posting on Facebook, or replying to someone´s brag with our own glorifying speech. By acknowledging that our achievements are ours, we will notice that what other do does not really matter. We will obtain personal power and become independent from our ego and the different opinions about us!

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5 Ways To Overcome Entrepreneur Isolation

You’ve left your corporate life behind to pursue your passion. This new life of an entrepreneur is exciting and fulfilling, but it can also get lonely quickly. You find yourself less aligned with old friends and colleagues. Your life has changed drastically while theirs stayed the same. There are less people to commiserate with and you feel a slow isolation coming on as months go by.

Feeling isolated can eventually impact your mental well-being and productivity. It might even make you feel depressed and negative.

So, break out of it when you see the signs. We’re social creatures and we crave connection. A few small changes can help you connect, recharge, and get your mojo back in no time.

Acknowledge your accomplishments
You didn’t get here looking for the easy way out. You’re here because you had the strength and the resilience to break away from the norm and pursue your true passion. You still have that strength. Take a moment every so often (maybe even once a day) to go through your accomplishments from the day you decided to become an entrepreneur. Remember the small challenges you overcame and how you did it. You’ll start to realize the strength and confidence grow within you again. You’ll mentally reinforce your mission and feel aligned to it.

Join a group to make new connections
Sometimes, loneliness has little to do with the number of friends in your social circle and more about the type of connection that you’re missing. So, make new connections. Join an entrepreneur group in your neighborhood. There are many organized groups or events for entrepreneurs, like Meetup.com, for example. You can join a group, attend an event, and meet others in your area. The great thing about this is that you’re likely to meet people that can relate to your new challenges and lifestyle. You might even make a few new friends to commiserate with and go out for coffee or drinks. As you form new connections, you’ll realize you’re not alone.

Trade in some online time for the real deal
Sure, we’re all connected to friends through social channels like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, etc. While it can be addicting, it can also be isolating because you’re missing out on tangible interactions, like hearing someone’s voice or watching them laugh. Why not cut back a bit on the online socializing and interact with people the old fashioned way? Take the time to meet in person. Setup a coffee or phone date with a friend. Go out for dinner or a movie. You’d be surprised how quickly you’ll feel less alone and more open.

Learn a new skill for exercise
Exercise makes your body release endorphins (feel good hormones). However, if the thought of spending hours at the gym alone and watching time tick by makes you squirm, then replace it with fun activities that you can do in a group. Dancing is not just for the stars anymore. Actually, dance classes are available in many locales. Dancing teaches balance, relieves stress, improves flexibility, and can help make a new friend or two. You could also try something new and exciting that you’ve never done before, like archery, rock-climbing surfing or snowboarding. Many activities can be sampled with Groupon type deals so you can dip your toes in to see if you like it before committing. Learning a new skill stimulates your mind, while physical activity recharges your body. You’ll leave feeling refreshed and engaged.

Practice gratitude daily
Being thankful draws positive emotions and creates a positive mindset. Find three things every day that you’re thankful for. They could be events that occurred, your accomplishments, or even your cherished ones (your family, your friends or your pet). Acknowledging this and being grateful every day will train your mind to create a positive mindset. You’ll feel your mental well-being grow day by day. You’ll also realize and appreciate what’s truly important to you.

Conclusion
Overcoming isolation is a step-by-step process. It does not happen overnight. So, take baby steps. If something does not work out, don’t dwell or shy away from trying something else. The goal is to find your sweet spot – where you feel connected, engaged, and supported.

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