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Showing posts with label Motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motivation. Show all posts

5 Approaches to Change Your Website and Turn into a Computerized Influencer

Today, many whiz writers (on shared online pages) are making at least 100,000 pay rates and running their own particular organizations. Prepared with just a camera, a portable workstation and a couple of very important props, they have figured out how to interest a great many fans and sign contracts with a part of/amount of the biggest brands on the planet. Also, developing your group of onlookers on online networking and improving your web journal (number of people who read) is no more restricted to writers (on shared online pages). Organizations too have thought about/believed the importance of online networking and places/locations and many are using their site carefully readrs and online networking fans to produce (sneaky, secret thing) and drive deals. Here are five tips on the best way to build your online networking taking after and turn into an influencer in the advanced space:

1. Way(s) of doing things takes you to 2 million members. 

The greatest misguided judgment is believing that that written work awesome articles and taking huge number of of photographs is (good) enough to wind up a very much perceived writer (on a shared online page). Although substance is extremely important (see underneath), the most very important piece of winning a group of people over is way of doing things. One way(s) of doing things to use is the (act of asking questions and trying to find the truth about something) device on website and online networking; figure out what sort of substance is most shared and enjoyed, and begin creating more it. Another way(s) of doing things is to study wording in the titles and pictures that go with articles keeping in mind the end goal to figure out what pulls in gathering of people the most.

2. Quality written substance makes all the difference. 

In the event that you hope to snap one hazy picture, or compose an article in five minutes with the goal that it might be shared and appreciated by a great many carefully readrs and members, reconsider. Before you take a photograph, you can: Google the most (recorded on a camera or computer) areas in the zone, go to beautiful settings, plan groups, props and formats, and change photographs using different portable applications. (thinking about/when one thinks about) learner YouTube photography instructional exercises can (promise that something will definitely happen or that something will definitely work as described) amazing/very unusual quality pictures. Every article or a picture needs to have the "goodness" part; generally, don't distribute it. Fair efforts/tries will bring about ordinary (with nothing unusual) substance, and your group of onlookers will take off. It is ideal to hold off distributed anything than to distribute something that is just alright.

3. (ability to create interesting new things) wins. 

Ignoring (people's feelings) what they taught you in school, and break all the guidelines with regards to being (having a unique quality) and getting clever in the advanced space. The more one of a kind the substance, the more probable it will draw in a crowd of people. (dividing people into two opposite groups) substance is alright also. You are not composing to be politically right and please everybody; people need to hear and see something other than what's expected. On the off chance that you are not happy with others knowing your personality, make a handle. Reposting others' pictures (unless they are "yell outs" - see underneath) or articles all alone online networking and (shared online writing page) is a major no. Your group of onlookers tails you on online networking and carefully reads your web journal since they think about your voice/point of view. Posting individual, one of a kind and (like nothing else in the world) substance is one attribute that all hotshot advanced influencers have in like manner.

4. Coordinated efforts are extremely important. 

Try not to hope to end up a stone star advanced influencer overnight. It takes most writers (on shared online pages) no less than a year before they see a real/honest contrast. In many cases, influencers team up on many difficult projects for nothing keeping in mind the end goal to get their image out there. Offer your amazing and interesting substance free to different places/locations, magazines, occasions and some other outlets that may require it. Approach just that they give credit to your pictures and/or articles. Find different writers (on shared online pages) and ask as to whether you may trade gatherings of people - in the world of Instagram, this is called "yell outs." You will find that many writers (on shared online pages)/records of your size and bigger will share your pictures and give you admission/response/recognition for substance for nothing out of pocket. This idea is hugely doable/possible and has permitted us to (accomplish or gain with effort) a huge number of new carefully readrs and fans.

5. Understudies to representatives. 

"Scaling hints doing less yourself" is a pearl of knowledge we got from our teachers. As your group of onlookers takes off, contract an understudy to deal with your substance and keep up/expansion association with your gathering of people. Giving distributed experience and information to your understudy will be (very valuable/very dearly loved), and you will have the ability to get greatly needed/demanded help as you develop. As you develop your group of onlookers, your goal should be to end up more a written opinion manager and to a lesser degree a writer (on a shared online page). Along these lines, you will have the ability to concentrate more your highly needed/demanded regard for (full of imagination) and business side of things.

How to Discover What You’re Passionate About

A common theme in most writing on goal setting is the need to follow your passions.  Do the things that make you want to get up early in the morning.  There’s only one thing missing:

What if you don’t have any passions? I’m sure everyone on this planet has interests.  But that’s not the same thing.  Enjoying playing video games isn’t the same as spending thousands of hours designing your own.  Your passion has to be something you would work exceptionally hard for.

So what do you do, if there is nothing you feel that engaged about?
The Way to Start Isn’t With a Survey…

A lot of career guidance involves measuring your current skills and personality, and then deciding what you would be most suited for.  I don’t like this approach because people are complex.  And any test will ultimately be a gross simplification of what’s important to you and what you like to do.

I once heard a story about a wealthy woman who was looking for a husband.  She invested over $20,000 on a series of psychological surveys to match her with potential candidates.  She met individually with the dozen candidates that were her best match.  After all that money and effort, she decided she didn’t like any of them.

Six months later, she was engaged to someone she had met randomly at a bar.  Moral: people don’t know what they want until they see it (and surveys aren’t much better).

The truth is, I don’t think any questionnaire can tell you what you’re going to be really engaged about.  I’d rather experiment with dozens of wildly different activities, than limit my scope, just because a test said I wouldn’t like it.
How to Find Your Passions

The better approach to finding your passions is actually fairly simple:

        Try a lot of different things
        See what you enjoy

The biggest obstacle to overcome is a narrow vision of what you can do.  If I wasn’t passionately interested in anything, I’d try to cast a wide net to look at dozens of different activities.  Staying safe and familiar is the reason I’m bored, so now is the time to experiment.

Dabbling is key to the art of finding what drives you.  Dabbling means committing to something for 3-6 months.  This amount of time isn’t enough to become really good at anything.  But it is enough time to get over the sharp learning curve in the beginning.

I didn’t enjoy programming for the first few months I worked on it.  I didn’t know enough, and it was too frustrating to continue.  But once I got over the frustration barrier, I found that programming is an activity I really enjoy.

If you don’t have any project that makes you want to wake up early and sacrifice leisure for, you should start dabbling.  Find new activities completely outside your comfort zone you can do for a few hours a week, and commit for at least two months.
Sometimes You Need a Spark…

Sometimes the problem with a passion isn’t the activity, but the goal.  I enjoyed working on small self-made projects.  But it wasn’t until I saw that people actually made self-run businesses out of those efforts that I became really engaged.  Until that point, my goal was just to dabble in something fun.  After that point, I realized there was room for a challenging goal I hadn’t considered before.

Equally important to dabbling in activities is to dabble in experiences.  Meet people from weird and unique backgrounds.  Read books that don’t normally appear on your shelf.  Randomness increases the chance that one of your interests will be sparked into something more.
Always Look for More

Dabbling is a continuous process.  Committing yourself to one goal is good.  But that should still leave time for brief experiments.  If you’re always dabbling, you have a large base of passions you can do interesting work from.  Don’t tolerate boredom.

10 Reasons Why You Should Always Tell Someone How You Feel About Them

On the off chance that the reaction is the thing that you were searching for — awesome! In the event that it’s not, it’s still essential to tell somebody how you feel. Here’s the reason:

1. It sets you free. Regardless of the possibility that the answer is not what you needed, it sets you free from the inquiries, from the suspicions, from perusing a lot into things, from clutching what ifs, from sitting tight for that content, or that kiss or that minute. It sets you free from your own particular desires.

2. It’s less demanding to proceed onward. It’s less demanding to return to the routine of your single life. You learn about better about going or notwithstanding dating other individuals without feeling awful that you may lack of regard anybody’s emotions. You know now that you are absolutely accessible.

3. It keeps you from being led on. On the off chance that you were getting joined, it’s generally preferable to say it sooner over later before you get more connected that it gets to be harder to proceed onward. You would prefer not to be led on for quite a while just to discover that it’s going no place.

4. You merit an answer. You should recognize what’s going on, you deserve to know where you stand, and you should make inquiries without keeping down in light of the fact that you merit an answer – whatever it might be.

5. They merit a clarification. They should know too why you were acting odd or far off or why you were keeping down and they should know why you won’t not be the same if the answer is not what you needed. On the off chance that you think about them, they should know reality.

6. Life is too short to leave vital words inferred. You never realize what tomorrow may bring or when you will see that individual again. It’s freeing to realize that you cleared out this individual saying all that you needed to say as opposed to thrashing yourself for releasing them without letting them know what they truly intended to you.

7. It’s valiant. It’s fearless to chance getting rejected and it’s bold to tell somebody how you feel when you’re uncertain of the answer. It’s likewise overcome on the grounds that you’re not reluctant to request what you need and you are sufficiently solid to handle the outcomes. It demonstrates that you are both solid and adult.

8. It implies you cherish yourself. When you need to comprehend what’s occurring and where things are going, it implies you have norms and it implies that you regard yourself to leave as opposed to getting played or staying in the companion zone when you need more.

9. It feels awesome. It feels awesome to get it out into the open and tell somebody you like them and you believe they’re extraordinary, it feels incredible for them likewise, to realize that they are enjoyed and acknowledged. Notwithstanding how they feel, everybody needs to hear that they are extraordinary. Think of it as your great deed of the day.

10. You get your own conclusion. You don’t endure until things misfire or until both of you gradually float separated, you become more acquainted with while it’s crisp, when it’s going on, rather than pondering what turned out badly months down the line.

10 Reasons Why It’s A Good Thing You Got Your Heart Broken

1. It will make you more empathic.

When you encounter the torment of despair, you’re feeling something widespread. Everybody has their heart broken sooner or later. It doesn’t need to be in the sentimental sense. When you experience it yourself, you’re better ready to identify with people around you. Actually, I think our capacity to love AND our capacity to be harmed joins us.

2. It will humble you.

So the individual you believed was your eternity individual ends up being… not until the end of time? It stings. It shakes the very establishment you stroll on. Your heart wasn’t the special case who took a shot, your self image did as well. Be that as it may, this advises you don’t that anything is an assurance. That is alright. Truth be told, that is dependably something to be thankful for to remember.

3. You’re compelled to become more acquainted with yourself once more.

Indeed, it’s most likely not how you trusted it would go. No one needs their heart broken. Be that as it may, now, it’s happened and you’re given an open door you won’t not understand. At this moment is the ideal time to check in with yourself. Deal with it. Assess who you are, what you need, how to get where you need to go. Listen to your passionate needs.

4. Your inventiveness will be at a record-breaking high.

There’s a reason each other melody you hear is around a separation — in light of the fact that that poop is INSPIRING. Let’s be honest, Taylor Swift wouldn’t have about the profession she does today on the off chance that she hadn’t had her heart broken a couple times. Put this vitality to great use. Empty all that despairing into whatever imaginative outlet you appreciate.

5. It makes space for the right individuals to tag along.

The general population who hurt you didn’t merit a spot held in your heart in the first place. No love lost. Presently you’ll have more space for the general population who can give you the right sort of affection and backing.

6. It constrains a definitive boldness.

Furthermore, that is the point at which you at last choose to trust somebody once more. Opening up your heart after it’s been crushed won’t be a simple assignment, however it’s a bold demonstration that I trust you keep on doing.

7. You’ll take in the specialty of absolution.

Pardoning does not mean overlooking. I think we get the two ideas befuddled. Choosing to pardon somebody is normally the more advantageous alternative. Clutching outrage or danger will hurt you, not the individual who hurt you. You can pardon somebody. That doesn’t mean what they did is eradicated. You can excuse somebody and still not welcome them once more into your life.

8. It puts everything else into point of view.

The great. The terrible. The alright. The most awful. You’ll see the delicacy of life. You’ll recollect that it is so vital to live at the time. What’s more, you’ll value those you do have — the ones who cherish you notwithstanding when you’re an aggregate chaos crying at 2 am, attempting to persuade them sending your ex a content is a smart thought.

9. You’ll learn of your own quality.

Quality isn’t the nonappearance of feeling. You can sob hysterically and still a mainstay of quality. Quality looks changed on everybody. Quality is simply overcoming it. What’s more, you can. You will.

10. You’ll be considerably more appreciative when adoration stays.

This time, love did not remain. That doesn’t mean the affection wasn’t imperative or life getting updated, however it didn’t sit tight. Your heart doesn’t know how to fathom that right at this point. In any case, sooner or later, love will come back again and not abandon you hurting. Affection will come and sit tight. What’s more, you’ll be so happy it does.

4 Biblical Truths To Live By When You’re Single And Searching For The One

Being single is not an ailment. Being in the wrong relationship is.

Is it accurate to say that you are single? Do you frequently wind up being posed the question “WHY are you STILL single?”

In the general public we live in, being single is by one means or another synonymous with a condemnation. The greater part of the general population around a “solitary individual” always ask “Why are regardless you single?” as though their relationship status were something they ought to need to protect. The inquiry might be good natured however it can be somewhat startling, as well. Whenever questioned, the single person or young lady begins to feel pointless weight, making them feel uncomfortable about not being seeing someone. This occasionally places them in a position where they start to question themselves… and at times God.

Being single can be hard, tiring, and depleting, and it can be considerably harder on the off chance that you regularly wind up being addressed by the general population around you. It can be excruciating as well in the event that you long to be seeing someone are encompassed by cherishing couples. Here are 4 truths to recollect when confronted with circumstances like these.

1. God hears your supplications.

I sat tight persistently for the LORD; He slanted to me and heard my cry.

– Psalm 40:1

God knows you have questions. God can hear your noiseless cry and your desires. God know the goals of your heart. Will He reply? The truth will surface eventually. Yet, you can bring solace with reality that your supplications don’t fail to be noticed. He’s listening and will never become weary of listening to all your inquiries, contemplations, passionate upheavals and so on. He is Omniscient and He knows not any other individual. Trust Him for He recognizes what He is doing.

2. God has an arrangement for you.

For I know the arrangements I have for you, proclaims the Lord, gets ready for welfare and not for insidiousness, to give you a future and a trust.

– Jeremiah 29:11

At whatever point you get assaulted by questions planted in your psyche and heart by the adversary, never forget this vital verse. Trust that His arrangements are superior to your arrangements as a primary concern. He is your Father. He has your best advantages in His heart. So like any respectful little girl or child, you must stay there, unwind and trust Him like a kid. I realize that can be troublesome in case you’re a control crack yet that is the lesson you must realize: When you surrender and confer yourself completely to Him, He’s ready to fulfill His arrangements throughout your life.

3. God will support you.

In any case, they who sit tight for the Lord might recharge their quality; they should mount up with wings like hawks; they should run and not be weary;they should walk and not swoon.

– Isaiah 40:31

Holding up can struggle. When you are uncertain of what will happen next, it can get uncomfortable. I know at times, you simply need to tell God: “In the event that it’s a yes then it’s a yes yet in the event that it’s a no, then simply let me know now so I can get this over with”. In any case, God does not work that way. He here and there shows us the best lessons when we are holding up, when we are by and large still and simply centering in realizing that He is God. This might be a standout amongst the most attempting stage however you can take it each day by itself and you can be guaranteed that God will give you the elegance you have to traverse the day.

4. God needs you to concentrate on your association with Him first.

In any case, look for first the kingdom of God and his honesty, and every one of these things will be added to you.

– Matthew 6:33

You may get yourself so stressed over your future with “the one” that you are starting to disregard your association with God. Your association with Him is about the most imperative relationship you’ll ever have in your lifetime so you should concentrate first in supporting it. Ensure you invest quality energy in supplication. Go to cooperations and church administrations important to develop your association with Him. I know doing all these would not ensure that you’ll be out of the “single” world soon however when you invest energy knowing Him on a more profound level, you’ll understand that when you have Him, He’s all you’ll ever require.

Carrying on with an existence as a solitary Christian can overwhelm. In the event that you end up questioning God’s capacity or on the off chance that you wind up questioning your ability, worth and abilities and you are speculation something isn’t right with you, that is totally typical and God comprehends that. Try not to trust the lies of the adversary, but instead grasp these 4 truths and Scriptures. Request absolution then discover peace in your heart.

God knows your requirements. What’s more, if being seeing someone getting hitched is one of them, He will give it to you. If not, you have God. Furthermore, when you have Him, you have all that you truly require.

It’s your turn.

The Bitter Truth About Why You Suck At Moving On

We talk a lot about moving on, about letting go. We talk a lot about healing, about putting the pieces of ourselves back together after we’re broken. We talk about releasing and saying goodbye, coming clean and washing away our pain.
We write and we cry and we write some more. We vent to our friends and our therapists until they’re simply regurgitating the same advice over and over again about the same problems we can’t seem to stop talking about. We read self-help books and articles and we say, “Today’s the day!” with fists extended ready to take on the world with a heart that is no longer heavy and hurting.

And…then we don’t.

We don’t move on. We linger, we stay. We stay stuck in a repetitive cycle of being hurt and talking about how to get better instead of actually getting better. Talking about how to let go. Talking about washing away that pain. Talking about how to move on.

We talk a lot about moving on, but often we’re doing just that.

Just talking about it.

Because the reality of the situation? The honest to God, cold hard truth? The real talk, no holding back, bitter truth about why you suck at moving on?

You aren’t moving on because you don’t want to.
That’s it. Really. That’s it.

You’re staying stagnant in your pain, sulking in your own self-indulgent pool of misery because you’re comfortable there. It’s easier than starting over. You’re familiar with the act of prodding your own wounds so you sit there, day after day putting metaphorical salt in your cuts and then whining about how much it stings. You can basically continue on in this circle of reliving bad memories, and feeling sorry for yourself for an endless amount of time because it’s simple.
You suck at moving on because you aren’t willing to change your own life. You keep waiting for someone, something to change it for you. And when that doesn’t happen you just sit, still waiting and still transfixed on the thing you claimed to be letting go of in the first place.

You’re not moving on because you would rather talk about your pain, live in this bubble of masochism that you’ve created for yourself, continuing to play the victim because it’s easy. It requires absolutely no effort.

Moving on means doing something. It means breaking the cycle. It means taking control of your own happiness.
The thing is, we’ve all been there. We’ve all gone through a period or two (or three or four or seventeen) where we are terribly self-interested little masochists. Periods of time where all we want to do is pick at our own scabs and then ask other people if they have a bandage handy. Periods of time where realistically, we know we’re responsible for our own heartbreak, our own pain, but we’re drawn to it like a moth to a flame so we just keep burning our fingers.

It happens.

But it’s not the period of masochism and total self-asborbsion with our own problems that defines you.

It’s what you do after.

It’s how long you allow yourself to stay stuck in a pit of “I can’t let go.” It’s whether or not you recognize that at the end of the day no one but YOU can define your own happiness, so you pick yourself up and stop talking about moving on, and actually fucking do it. It’s the decision to stop allowing yourself to be defined by one bad thing, and instead go out and create new things that you would want your name next to.

The bitter truth about why you suck at moving on is that really, you probably don’t suck at moving on at all.

You just need to choose to actually do it.

Just Because It’s Comfortable Doesn’t Mean It’s Right

Sometimes it feels like a messy break-up can last forever. You break up, but you still talk every day. You break up, but you still sleep together on a regular basis. You break up, but you still argue like a married couple. Sometimes it just feels like the relationship never really ends; or maybe it’s just that idea of being comfortable is really, really hard to let go of.
How many times do you have to go through the same bullsh*t, before you realize the comfort isn’t worth the heartbreak? At what point, do you say “I AM DONE,” and finally cut him out of your life completely? When it’s over, wouldn’t it be nice for it to aaaactually be over? You delete his number and immediately delete him off of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You’ll show him who’s winning this break up. But in most cases (or at least mine), his number is already memorized and you find ways of to creep on all of his social media, even if you’re not “friends”.

The first week goes by, you haven’t heard from him.

The first month goes by and you still haven’t heard from him.

You sit and stare at your phone until you cave. One text won’t hurt. You just want to know that he isn’t holding up as well as you are. He just needs to know that you are doing totally fine and you haven’t even thought about him in the last 30 days…at all…not once…nope, you’ve been just great since he broke your heart and smashed it into 100 million little pieces. Well, that one text turns into a whole conversation, and now you’re on your way to meet him for lunch. Unfortunately, this is all too familiar. That one simple text message quickly brings back old habits.

Lunch turns into an entire day together, which turns into an entire night together, which inevitably ends up as an entire morning together. To you, this is the beginning of ‘working things out’; to him you got lunch, you hung out and you slept together, so what? After a couple months of doing the same thing, it’s pretty obvious you’re back together; even your friends think so.
Ha! If only it was that simple. All it takes is one text message to the wrong person, for you to realize, you’re not the only girl. Here you go again, this vicious cycle of being comfortable came back to bite you in the a**. You cry and cry and cry but all he has to say is “You caught me.” That’s it; you’re never talking to him again.

Until one month goes by, you send a text and it begins all over again. How many times do you go through the motions before it’s clear that things will never be the same? It could be once (highly unlikely), or it could be two, three or four times. Maybe it’ll take something HUGE to happen for you to finally realize you need to stop. Maybe he’s in a serious relationship; maybe he’s having a baby with his new girlfriend, or maaaaybe you found someone who finally treats you right.

Falling back into old habits is easy. Sometimes it’s too easy and that’s what screws you. You get too comfortable. He’s like that old t-shirt you have from sophomore year of high school. It’s been washed hundreds of times, the armpit stains are disgusting, you’re not even sure what the importance of it is anymore and everyone HATES when you wear it. Just because it’s comfortable, doesn’t mean it’s fashionable. Just because being with him is comfortable, doesn’t mean it’s always the best option. Cutting him out of your life is probably going to be harder than hell. I mean, you two have gone through EVERYTHING together.

It’s going to feel like a break up all over again, possibly even worse. But that morning when you wake up and finally feel happy again, you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.

10 Ways to Get Over Ourselves

We take ourselves too seriously. We allow ourselves to get tied up in things that are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. A person cuts us off on the way to work, and it ruins our whole day or the stranger in front of us at the coffee shop grabs the last croissant and we curse them on the way out. We get upset with our partners for not taking out the trash, or let our lazy co-worker get under our skin. But remember, we can’t change anyone but ourselves. We can live a life where other people dictate our feelings, or we can be the ones in control. A person starts to live when they can live outside themselves. So here is a piece of humble pie, let’s eat it and get over ourselves.

1. We need to tell ourselves to get over ourselves.
We need to remind ourselves that it’s not about us. So I suggest you tell yourself, out loud and in the mirror, to get over yourself – over and over. Put a post-it note on your computer at work or leave a reminder on your phone. Just remember, it’s not about you. The more we can remember that, the easier life is.

2. We can think about the size of the Universe.

We are but a speck in the grand scale of space and time, but so often we think that we are larger than life. Think about how enormous the Universe is and the Universe of that Universe, and then think about where you are to put it all into perspective. So, so tiny.

    When they discover the centre of the Universe, a lot of people will be disappointed that they are not it. – Anonymous
Don’t be one of those people. Of course, life is challenging and sometimes our problems seem insurmountable, but with a little selfless thinking we can check ourselves at the door and approach those hurdles realistically.

3. We could make a farting noise with our mouth.
When we get so caught up in our own negativity, sometimes all it takes is just a small trigger to break our state. Try making a farting noise with your mouth the next time you get too much in your own head. The fact that you probably don’t want to do it is even more reason why you should, so you can get over yourself and out of your head.

4. We really should just dance.
Dancing is good for the soul. The next time your mind starts to run wild, just stop, and dance. Just like number three, it’s about breaking your state of mind.

    You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
    love like you’ll never be hurt,
    sing like there’s nobody listening,
    and live like it’s heaven on earth. – William W. Purkey
5. We need to allow ourselves to make mistakes.
We are only humans, and we will always make mistakes. By allowing ourselves to make mistakes and by knowing it’s inevitable, we’ll make it a lot easier on ourselves to do so. There is no failure, only succeeding and learning.

6. What we focus on is what we get.

We are in control of what we focus on. When we all of a sudden see countless Volkswagons on the road, it’s not because there are so many, it’s because we just purchased one. When we focus on the good stuff, that’s what we’ll see. Perception is projection.

7. We should all just laugh, out loud.
It’s almost impossible to be in a bad mood when laughing. Fake it until you make it. Just turn that frown upside down and make it a happy face. Laughter and play is so important to our emotional well-being. Dr Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute of Play compares play to oxygen and says,

    It’s all around us, yet goes mostly unnoticed or unappreciated until it is missing.
8. We need to take deep breaths.
We often forget how grounding and calming our breath can be. When you feel flustered or upset, stop and take three long breaths, inhaling through your mouth and exhaling through the nose. On the last breath, let out a loud sigh to really seal the deal. Remember number four, and sigh like no one is listening.

To learn more about breathing and mindfulness, download this amazing free app that some awesome Australians created – Smiling Mind

9. We can tell someone we love them.

The Beatles said it best – Love is all you need. When we stop making it about us and tell someone we love them, it helps calm us down and get back in touch with what matters most. This crazy thing we call love. The faster we get over ourselves, the faster we can spread love with the world around us.

10. We should remember that the way we perceive the world is not actually what is.
Our map is not the territory. How we perceive the world is not actually what is. Reminding ourselves that everyone has their own perception of reality gets us thinking more about where we’re coming from, as well as others.

Set a goal for yourself

"Life is hard at times. But when I overcome more challenges, I become much stronger then. So I’m going to embrace them."

Do These 10 Things Everyday To Gradually Become Mentally Stronger

To continue to be mentally strong in today’s society is a challenge in itself. We all carry emotional scars and if they’re not healed we can inflict our insecurities, biases, frustration and pain onto others. However, everyone has the potential to heal, change and become better than they were. Although, it will take a lot of work on your part.

In order to be mentally stronger every day, there are a few things you should incorporate in your daily agenda.

1. Be thankful and show gratitude

I like to start my day off with being thankful. I wake up and I say a few word of thanks to my creator for the simple things in life. It doesn’t matter if you have a religion or not, you can still be thankful for things that you have in your life. Why wait till Thanksgiving every year to be thankful? There are so many things to be thankful for every day.

Every day you wake up gives you a new day to start over and claim the life you desire and deserve. It’s important for you to learn to be thankful, in order for you to become mentally stronger daily. Life will deal you some hard times but in order for you to champion through it, you must learn to be thankful for the little things in life. It’s like looking at the glass and feeling that it is half full: be optimistic. Showing gratitude to others is about showing some form of appreciation. You can say your grateful but showing someone you are grateful can go a really long way. For example, why do you think it is suggested to send a thank you card after an interview? This is because as a visual element it sticks a little bit better in the mind than quick fleeting words of thanks. It doesn’t mean that the person expects something in return when they do something, sometimes it just lifts your spirits to know you are appreciated. A simple handmade card or letter with genuinely expressed gratitude, detailing why you are grateful, could make a huge impact.

2. Meditate
Yes, I know! You have probably heard about meditating a million times by now. Meditation is said to improve focus, mental clarity and reduce or eliminate stress. That is how meditation can make you mentally stronger every day. It can also give you peace, which I feel is desperately needed in today’s society. As a beginner, you will possibly notice how busy your mind is zipping about with your to-do lists, ideas, worries and more. Don’t worry, over time your mind will quite down with continued practice.

3. Exercise
Release those endorphins. That’s right! Working out is, of course, important to be mentally stronger every day. You can pick the fitness activity of your choice soccer, hiking, skating, tennis, or whatever you choose. I would encourage you to make it fun and include someone as your workout partner if you don’t prefer to exercise alone.

4. Eat healthy
Fueling your cells with the proper energy (healthy food) is vital for being mentally stronger every day. I’m aware that some of you out there may not like fruits or vegetables. However, can you truly say you have tried every fruit or vegetable? Probably not! There are so many different types of fruits and veggies and they can be prepared in so many different ways. Every fruit and vegetable has its own unique nutritious purpose that it can provide to our bodies. I think it’s worth the effort to try to find some creative ways to cook or juice them to your desired taste. If you have a special diet where you don’t eat certain foods or drinks make sure you are not missing out on nutrition through finding other healthy sources for what you need. Whole wheat, vegetables, fruit, grains, nuts, and legumes are some of the things you could incorporate into your diet.

5. Create a Healthy Environment

In order for you to be mentally stronger every day your environment needs to be a healthy one. If your environment lacks structure or organization it can affect your mental strength. You can become quite overwhelmed when your home and bedroom area lacks organization. Create an environment that relaxes you and makes you happy, and include plants for healthy filtered air inside your home. Decorate your bedroom or home with things that will make you feel relaxed, comfortable and happy when you look around.

6. Smile and Show Compassion
You never know what the power of a smile can do for someone. In life, we pass each other and never really know the burdens or struggles life is dealing others and ourselves from moment to moment. It helps to smile and show a little compassion towards others, you may need it yourself one day later in life. When you’re going through something it’s good to smile your way through it and force yourself to think of anything positive that could come from the situation. To be a mentally stronger person every day make smiling, laughter (not at someone else’s expense), joy, and compassion a part of your daily life.

7. Take Responsibility
Take responsibility for your actions, apologize (genuinely) and move on (even if society does not). Being in denial or lying can hold you back from growing stronger mentally every day. It can also destroy relationships with business partners, friends, family, and spouses.

8. Write in a Journal Daily

Writing in a journal daily is also a way to help you become mentally stronger every day. Journal writing allows you to reflect on your activities for the day. It can include what you have experienced, your feelings, concerns or anything you wish. It could be therapeutic, sometimes we hold our feelings inside and that is not healthy. I use my journal to write daily what I am thankful for, things I achieved that day and other topics. Journals can allow you to see your development over a period of time as a person and appreciate your journey.

9. Power Off Before Bed
In today’s society, some of us are glued to our phones, computers, and other devices. Before you go to sleep you should power them off. Your bedroom should be for sleeping, but so many of us turn our beds into an office. We do this by using our laptops in our bed and taking business calls from our bed at night as well. I understand that with some professions you are always on call. However, your sleep time is precious and your body needs it in order to replenish its own power. Powering off your devices will help you be mentally stronger every day.

10. Know Yourself and Be a Better Version of Yourself
You are not very likely to be a mentally stronger person if you live your life trying to imitate or be someone else. We are all made different and have different journeys for a reason. The sooner you discover the gifts and beauty you were created to offer the world, the more beautiful you will be to the world because you will be more confident and happy.

Plus, it is really unhealthy to live your life and model it obsessively after someone else; it may create envy and jealousy within you towards that person. So if you find yourself constantly thinking about what someone else has and what you don’t, you should evaluate why it matters so much to you. Are you possibly insecure? Everybody has problems, even the Joneses, so why would you try to keep up with them? Get to know yourself and become a better version of yourself, it will make you mentally stronger every day.

5 Reasons Why People Who Cry A Lot Are Mentally Strong

Unfortunately, not all emotions are created equal.

The most widely accepted emotion, happiness, is a sign of confidence, security, and success, among other things. Even if we have to “fake it till we make it”, we’ve been told expressing happiness is a sure way of gaining close friends and admirers.

Fear is perhaps the most applicable emotion, as everyone has felt it in some regard. We’ve all been scared of something before: leaving a job, asking someone to marry us, confronting a friend about something they did to upset you. And considering the daily fear mongering by mass media outlets, fear makes a strong case for the most felt emotional sensation.

Anger, though rarely welcomed, is another emotion many of us feel and practice daily. Be it in the midst of heavy traffic, at your child for breaking a prized vase, or at an incompetent coworker, anger is, again, widely accepted as a completely normal emotion.

Disgust is highly suggestive and, for the most part, remains internalized but is still regularly felt. When disgust is expressed, in most contexts, it’s usually accepted and sometimes agreeable.

Sadness, however, is in a league of it’s own, much like in the new feature Pixar film Inside Out. Sadness seems to be alienated, picked on, and persecuted when expressed fully. Outward expressions of sadness such as droopiness of the body and face, slumping, and crying are considered signs of weakness and insecurity. It’s unfair that our culture puts sadness in such a tight box. It’s damaging, unhealthy, and downright unfair to the human life experience.

People who aren’t afraid to express sadness, in fact, are far more mentally healthy than those who suppress it. Here’s why:

They aren’t afraid of their emotions.
If you were overwhelmed with joy, would you hide a smile? If you saw the innards of a squished squirrel while running or biking on the side of the road, would you not grimace? If you had an awful day at work and your unemployed roommate drank your last ice cold beer that you’d been looking forward to all day, would you not be pissed off? If you were trying to find a light switch and didn’t think that your boyfriend was in the room, lurking, waiting to scare you thinking it would be funny, would you not be terrified when he jumped towards you and yelled?

So if you’re sad, why wouldn’t you cry? Why wouldn’t you slump around? Why wouldn’t you give yourself the right to be sad?

People who ignore sadness cheat themselves out of an important facet of life. Sadness, or crying, isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign that you’re a human and have feelings beyond what you’re told is appropriate to show in public.

They understand the healing properties of tears.
Much like a spit valve releases saliva from a trumpet, your tear ducts releases stress, anxiety, grief, and frustration from your brain and body. It’s soul cleansing, mind enriching, and goosebump inducing, almost acting as a drain for the buildup of negative emotions that result from stress. The healing properties of tears aren’t just restricted to sad tears, either, but happy tears as well. In either case you’re dealing with extreme emotion. Allowing that extreme emotion to back up and stay in the body can be very dangerous both physically and mentally.

Beyond improving move and reliving stress, crying, specifically tears, have scientific benefit because they release toxins, help improve vision, and can kill 90 to 95 percent of all bacteria in just five to 10 minutes.

They know how therapeutic crying can be.
Recent psychological studies have determined that crying stimulates our brain’s endorphin release, the “feel-good” hormones that also act as a natural pain killer. Crying also lowers manganese levels, a chemical that, when overexposed to, can exasperate the brain and body.

Even though the problem may still persist after you’ve cried it out, there’s no doubt that the act of crying allows for an overall release of bad emotion even if momentarily. This allows us to think clearer about the problem and not be so overwhelmed by it.

They don’t care about gender roles or societal expectation.
Crying is stigmatized for both sexes. If she cries it’s because she’s unstable or a wreck or, the most delusional conclusion, needs attention from others. If he cries, he’s a pansy, a wuss, or, my personal favorite, not manly enough. All of these generalizations encourage both sexes to submerge their sadness to the depths of their soul.

Though it’s an uphill battle that can only be won an inch at a time, we’re working tirelessly to break down social constraints that hang heavy over both sexes. Those who allow themselves to be sad in public are not only brave, but also activists for an emotionally healthier society.

They invite others to not run from their feelings.
I like to cry. Or rather, I don’t let myself not be sad when I feel sadness. We are all working to overcome some sort of depressing demon that’s trying to tear us down. When we allow ourselves to feel pain when we feel it, we’re also encouraging others, either people we already know or not, to connect with our pain. To know that you’re not alone in thinking, feeling, or even acting a certain way is emotionally liberating and, in extreme cases, life saving.

Those who accept sadness when it stares them in the face allow others to do the same. Recalling the previous point, it’s dangerous when we keep emotions hidden and buried within. Since sadness has negative associations, we often won’t reach out to someone we notice is experiencing difficulty because we’re afraid, not of the person necessarily but of the act of being deeply upset.

When we’re honest to our bodies, we allow it to perpetually run at maximum capacity, even when we’re experiencing tremendous pain.

We’ve been seriously discussing good mental health practices for years now. With the dawn of therapy and heavily prescribed feel-good medications, we should all be more appreciative of our biological ability to cry and take full advantage of the natural anxiety-reliever it is.

Because crying shouldn’t be perceived as a sign of weakness, but a sign of internal strength and mindfulness.

20 Powerful Quotes About Grief, Loss, and Life

Grief is perhaps one of the most complex and difficult emotions for people to deal with. For example, the pain of realizing you might never see a loving partner again can be devastating and even more challenging is putting on a brave face in helping the children cope with their own loss and grief. There are some, however, that have spent a lifetime looking into such losses and have gifted us with their wisdom. These 20 powerful quotes all help to convey the deeper nature of grief, loss and life itself.

  1.     “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” – Thomas Campbell
  2.   “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.” – William Shakespeare (Macbeth)
  3.   “Do you know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?” – Terry Pratchett (Going Postal)
  4.     “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.” – Mark Twain
  5.     “What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us” – Helen Keller
  6.     “I will not say, do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.” – J.R.R Tolkien (Return of the King)
  7.     “Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve” – Earl Grollman
  8.     “All we need to do is learn not to be afraid of pain. Grit your teeth and let it hurt. Don’t deny it, don’t be overwhelmed by it. It will not last forever. One day, the pain will be gone and you will still be there.” – Harold Kushner
  9.     “You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” – Jan Glidwell
  10.     “You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
  11.     “Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.” – Rumi
  12.     “Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life.” – Anne Roiphe
  13.     “The pain passes, but the beauty remains” – Pierre Auguste
  14.     “It is foolish to tear one’s hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less by baldness.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
  15.     “Each of us has his own rhythm of suffering.” – Roland Barthes
  16.     “In the dim light of today are the shadows of yesterday’s affliction and the hope of tomorrow’s gifts.” – Ariana Carruth
  17.     “No hour is ever eternity, but it has its right to weep.” – Zora Neale  Hurston (Their Eyes Were Watching God)
  18.     “So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.” – E.A Bucchianeri (Brushstrokes of a Gadfly)
  19.     “There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
  20.     “Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkegaard
Grief happens to everyone in time, but there is always hope. As these quotes suggest, life itself does go on, no matter how dark things may seem. Good and bad times are a part of life and it is normal to grieve. However, it is not normal to grieve forever  – cheer up, think of the beautiful memories and be merry. Remember, after the storm comes the sunshine!

14 Things You Should Give Up Chasing No Matter What Others Say

Whenever we chase after something, we take ourselves out of the present moment where life actually happens. The future doesn’t exist yet and the past is gone. The only really meaningful place to live is in the now and that’s generally where you’ll find what you’re looking for. Others may say you should be chasing these 14 things to be happy and successful, but take a deeper look and decide for yourself. You may think differently after you read this.

1. Chasing The Dream
“Let the world know why you’re here, and do it with passion.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Before you start chasing THE dream, make sure that it’s YOUR dream you’re chasing! I’ve found that most people don’t get what they want in life because they’re playing out someone else’s idea of who they should be.

Take “Anne,” for example, a small quiet woman who used to drag herself into my weekly Reinventing Yourself workshop after spending all day at a job she hated. She became a dental hygienist because her mother wanted her to be like her older sister, who became one because on career day in high school the girl sitting next to her said, “Hey, why don’t you become a dental hygienist?” A few months later her sister married a wealthy dentist and never had to work again. Anne, on the other hand, had been doing it for 30 years.

Anne never invented herself in the first place. She’s not the only one. Many of us aren’t leading authentic lives. The number one regret of people on their deathbed is that they did not live THEIR dreams. Don’t let that be you. If you find yourself leading a life full of shoulds and obligations—someone else’s dream for you—take heart. Doing something you love for just a couple of hours a week can significantly improve your life. Like steering a ship slightly to the right, over time you’ll arrive at the destination YOU desire.

2. Chasing Security

“In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” ~  Benjamin Franklin

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, security is “the state of being protected or safe from harm.” The problem with chasing security is that there is no such thing, and if you trade your soul for it, you pay a big price. I have a friend who’s buying a house with a woman he doesn’t love, who treats him badly, for “security’s sake.” Another friend is applying for work way beneath her potential to collect a steady paycheck, even though the last time she did so her job made her sick and it took her out of the job market for several months.

The truth is that fear of change and staying in our comfort zones stunts our growth. Each of us has a unique purpose in life. Most of us don’t realize it, though, because we’ve been pressured to conform to someone else’s idea of who we should be. Stretch yourself and take a risk if you want to find out what makes your heart sing.

3. Chasing Money

“Chase your passions and money will come. Chase money and you may never find your passions.” ~ Colin Wright

We all need to make ends meet, but beyond that, chasing after the green stuff doesn’t make us happier.

“Rachel” took my creativity workshop after she’d made a bundle working at Apple and felt absolutely empty. A buddhist priest friend of mine told me he gets most of his donations to build orphanages in third world countries from wealthy people who feel like their lives are meaningless otherwise.

Research by the Nobel laureate psychologist/economist Daniel Kahneman and Princeton economist Angus Deaton found that happiness maxes out around $75,000 in the United States. Additional studies reveal that people are happier when they spend their money on other people rather than only themselves.

Of course we all need money to live, but chasing money for money’s sake can take you off track from your true passions and leave you feeling hollow. Simplify your life, do what you love, and the money will follow.

4. Chasing Material Things
“Stop chasing what your mind wants and you’ll get what your soul needs.” ~ KushandWizdom

Many of us think we’ll be happy if we live in a big house, wear brand-named clothes, drive a new car, and stuff our closets full of shoes. But that’s simply chasing things to fill the hole in your sole (forgive the pun).

Research shows that we’re happier when we spend money on positive experiences—like vacations—rather than material things. So the next time you feel like redecorating your living room or upgrading your car, think about flying to France or taking a road trip instead.

5. Chasing Work
“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” ~ Socrates

Americans put in the longest work hours and get the shortest paid vacation time in the developed world, including Japan. Those of us “lucky” enough to have jobs have added another day to our work week because we now check work emails and calls from home. It’s no wonder we try to stuff everything we can’t do at work into our off hours.

But the second regret of the dying is that they wished they didn’t work so hard. Even though it’s countercultural, research shows that taking breaks leads to greater productivity than putting in long hours. You come back refreshed and able to do more in less time when you give yourself a chance to recharge.

So instead of cramming more activities into an already too busy life to make up for lost time, try slowing down, meditating, doing yoga, taking walks, having deep talks with friends, keeping a journal, and being out in nature.  It will make you happier and healthier too.

6. Chasing Outer Beauty
“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others. For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” ~ Audrey Hepburn

Many women and men feel pressure to look good. We hit the gym, dye our hair, and even get corrective surgery. In 2012, 14.6 million cosmetic procedures were performed in the United States. Isabella Rossellini calls it “the new foot binding.” The problem is that outer attractiveness naturally fades with time. What we should be chasing after is the beauty that resides within.

My gym workout partner is in her mid-60s and the most beautiful woman I know. She eats well and takes good care of herself but she also focuses on championing people in need and making the world a better place. She absolutely glows.

Cindy Joseph created a cosmetics line that celebrates aging rather than fighting against it. Her opinion?  “When a woman feels good in her skin, when she’s happy and joyful and finds her true purpose and passions, she shines from the inside out.” That goes for men, too.

7. Chasing Youth
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” ~ C.S. Lewis

We live in a youth-obsessed society, so many of us panic when we look in the mirror and see droopy eyelids, crows-feet and gray hair staring back at us. Nothing is permanent and that’s okay. When we chase youth on the outside we often lose sight of the wisdom that comes with age. We learn from our mistakes, make better choices, and are more likely to be true to ourselves.

Rather than trying to discover the fountain of youth, channel your energy into following your heart. It’s never too late. Martin P. Levin reached his dream to go to law school at age 61, and still practices law in his 90’s. Pierre-Auguste Renoir, crippled with arthritis, continued to paint with a brush strapped to his hand. What would you do if you had the courage to find out what you’re capable of accomplishing, no matter your age?  That’s where your true vitality lies.

8. Chasing Approval
“Always remember that you do not need to explain yourself or prove anything to anyone.  If they cannot accept you for you – then it is time to move on.” ~ Cath B Akesson

Chasing people’s approval is a waste of time and effort; what we should be chasing is our own approval. The third regret of the dying is that they wish they’d had the courage to express their true feelings instead of stuffing their emotions down to keep peace with others.

There’s NOTHING wrong with you. Some folks love you just the way you are; some don’t. You don’t need to change a thing. The wonderful side effect of self-acceptance is that those little things you want to improve about yourself tend to right themselves effortlessly. Self-hate keeps you stuck. Self-acceptance heals.

9. Chasing Love
“I love my husband very much. I knew it was real true love because I felt like I could be myself around that person.”  ~ Idina Menzel

When you chase love it often attracts people who don’t value you. Otherwise why would they make you work so hard? Worse, you may wind up with a narcissist who requires constant admiration but can’t return it. It’s exhausting to constantly fight for someone’s attention. You just end up getting hurt.

True love comes knocking at your door when you stop looking for it outside of yourself and focus on accepting yourself for who you are—warts and all—instead. What can you do to be more genuine and self-accepting? Maybe you could sign up for an improv class, or take up drawing, or join a hiking group. Following your heart increases your chances of meeting like-minded people. When you reveal rather than conceal who you really are, you give true love the opportunity to find you.

10. Chasing People
“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~ Will Smith

If you have to work hard to keep an acquaintance or friend in your life, it’s probably best to let that person go. Not all relationships are healthy. Learn to tell the difference.

According to George Simon, author of In Sheep’s Clothing, beware of people who try to control you, stroke your ego to get what they want, tell lies, ignore you, make you feel guilty, put you down, play the victim, or cause you to doubt yourself. These energy vampires leave you feeling drained. If you take an honest assessment of your current friendships and family members, chances are you’ll find one or two there. Rather than chasing them to make the relationship work, distance yourself.

And bring your true friends closer. The fourth regret of the dying is that they were too busy to make time to see their friends much. A real friend is someone you can turn to for sympathy when you need it, confide in about most things, and be your true self around. You don’t need to chase them because they’re already there. Make it a priority to stay in touch.

11. Chasing The Latest Trend
“Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~ Howard Thurman

Consumer-based societies depend on us to buy stuff, so we’re forever lured into getting the latest gadget and wearing trendy fashions. Trouble is, if we’re always chasing the new rage, we can lose track of who we really are and what truly turns us on.

“Dan” took my creativity workshop because he was tired of being an attorney. He came to realize he really wanted to be a photographer. He took pictures at lunch and after work and eventually sold a piece at a show. Taking photos brought meaning and joy back into his life.

Be a free thinker and go for what really lights your fire. It can be listening to 60’s music, watching old Star Trek movies, writing, painting, taking photographs…  If you do end up buying that new camera, just remember that it’s the experience of shooting photographs that enlivens you, not the camera itself.

12. Chasing Happiness
“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.” ~ Brene Brown

According to Tal Ben-Shahar PhD, author of Happier, chasing happiness by working hard today for the rewards that come tomorrow does not make people happy. Nor does engaging in momentary hedonistic pleasures without thought of the consequences. Happiness is a choice. To find it, do what brings you pleasure in the moment AND helps you reach meaningful goals in the future.

The fifth regret of people on their deathbed is that they wished they’d let themselves be happier. Instead they stayed stuck in old patterns and pretended to be content when they weren’t. Be honest with yourself and strategize a happy life by doing things you love every day that lead to a life that fits who you truly are. Count your blessings and follow your bliss.

13. Chasing What’s Possible

“Nothing is impossible. The word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” ~ Audrey Hepburn

Many of us chase after what seems possible instead of what we’re really capable of doing because our aspirations are too limited.

“Maria” took my creativity workshop because she wanted to retire from the police and travel the world. She figured she’d write travel manuals to support herself, but was unenthusiastic about it. I got her to stick to her guns and investigate opportunities that used her true skills. She ended up getting a job with the UN training local police in Bosnia to adopt human rights procedures.

Don’t be too quick to mentally figure out how to follow your dreams. If the answer falls outside the range of what seems possible (in Maria’s case, working for the UN), the route you choose may actually hold you back from getting the best life you can have. Slow down. Every step you take provides another piece of the puzzle, until the big picture eventually snaps into focus.

14. Chasing The Path to Success
“If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths, rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success.” ~ John D. Rockefeller

Years ago when I was a psychology professor, I felt deeply empty despite my success. I’d published in the best journals in my field and received teaching awards, but it wasn’t the right path for ME.

The truth was, I wanted to be a rock star. “Ridiculous,” a voice that sounded a lot like my mother’s screamed inside my head. For one, it would mean I had wasted four years at Princeton getting my PhD in psychology. For another, I was too old. How could I change now, wasn’t it too late?

I kept thinking about how happy my students were whenever I gave them permission to be their true selves. Within a year I left my solid teaching position to follow my dream. My songs have been on the charts, and I’ve led creativity workshops for 19 years and helped thousands of participants realize their dreams, too. But I had to make my own path. So do you.

Following someone else’s road to success is not going to get you anywhere. What trail would you blaze if you set your soul free?

In the Wizard of Oz Dorothy had it right when she declared, “If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own backyard, because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with.” Just like Dorothy always had the power to go home, you’ve always had a unique gift to share with the world. Reawaken your buried dreams, honor what makes you different, and embrace the people who have your back, and you will create a life you love.

These 20 Regrets From People On Their Deathbeds Will Change Your Life

You’re going to die someday.

Perhaps the 5 most powerful words ever spoken to me. No matter how immortal we feel waltzing through life’s ups and downs, we all must someday stare death in its devious eyes as we reflect on our lives. Life is complex, sure. That’s a given. But if you really ponder for a moment, it can be boiled down to 2 feelings you’ll most likely be met with on your deathbed:

Triumph or regret.

Thankfully, every day is a great day to get better. Every day is a perfect day to change the track of your life, to reroute the potentially destructive path of a life wasted.

What better place to start than people in their final days:

1. I wish I wouldn’t have compared myself to others.
Everyone struggles with this, but there’s nearly nothing that’s so detrimental to fulfillment. Instead of comparing yourself to your friends, family, or idols, reflect on how far you’ve come as a person, even if it’s just the person you were yesterday.

2. I wish I’d taken action and dove in head first.
I’ll let you in on a little secret: there is no “right way.” So many people are paralyzed by the idea of what they want to be because they worry it won’t happen as quickly as they want. Well, it won’t. But what’s worse than dedicating time to your dream each day and seeing snail-like progress? A life wasted doing things you don’t want to.

3. I wish I’d tuned the world out more.
Everyone around you tries to dictate what you are or who you should be, but you let them. No one needs to validate your worth besides yourself, and you will someday deeply regret if you spend your life pleasing the world around you. Don’t worry about pleasing your parents, friends, or bosses. You need to worry about number 1 first and foremost. Always.

4. I wish I didn’t wait to “start it tomorrow.”

Excuses are plentiful because they’re so easy to make. You will always find reasons to validate your inaction, and this is a common cause of deathbed regret. The things you want to do tomorrow can effortlessly turn into things you wish you did 50 years ago.

5. I wish I’d taken more chances.
The fear of rejection or failure dissipates in the face of death. The pretty girl you didn’t ask out on a date, the job you didn’t apply for because you felt under qualified, or the business you believed in but didn’t start will weigh heavier on your shoulders than falling flat on your face and learning.

6. I wish I would have kept going.
Even if you are brave enough to take the chance, failure happens. Where this failure can turn into major regret, however, is a decision to quit. When you let the pressure of falling short overcome your love for your endeavor, you lost. Keep going.

7. I wish I’d told others how much I love them.
Everyone wants to feel appreciated, but very few are wiling to tell others how much they appreciate them. So often we are wrapped up in gaining love but fail to give it to the ones we care about most. Tell them often, before it’s too late.

8. I wish I was content with what I have.

Be it more money, more recognition, or more options, we always want more of something. Very few are able to take an honest step back and recognize that what they have is more than enough. It’s always good to want more from life, but it’s essential to truly appreciate what you have.

9. I wish I took better care of my body.
Today’s society tells us that “taking care of yourself” is synonymous with a chiseled six pack. This is by no means true. Making healthy choices is important in all facets of life, not just physical exercise. Not eating junk food, not smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, and not drinking every weekend are 3 pretty easy ways to start.

10. I wish I’d listened to others more.
Everyone thinks they’re right all the time and everyone has opinions that they sometimes force on others. It’s alright to have them, but it’s more important to have the ability to listen. Even if you don’t agree with the point of view, challenge yourself to hear others without passing judgement.

11. I wish I’d have not held that grudge.

It’s discouraging when someone hurts you, especially if that person means a lot to you. But harboring grudges hurts you in the long term more than it did initially.

12. I wish I’d have traveled more.
People often mistake that “traveling” has to involve a foreign country and a couple thousand dollars. Phooey. Jump in the car, drive an hour to a nearby city, and explore something you haven’t before. Don’t jail yourself in your house because of erroneous notions of what it means to travel.

13. I wish I’d have laughed it off.
You take yourself far too seriously. Heck, we all do. One of the major regrets people have in life is simply taking life too seriously. Bad things are bound to happen, sure. But they’re pretty much always not as bad as we make them out to be in our head. And isn’t life way more fun if we’re chuckling along with it?

14. I wish I’d left work at work (for only 40 hours per week).
Humans are hard wired to work and provide for the ones they love. However, this often comes at the expense of our loved ones because we spend so much stinking time wrapping things up at the office or putting in a couple hours emailing on the weekends. Here’s a newsflash: your job is going to still be there and exist when you die, but it’ll be someone else in the seat neglecting their family instead. Don’t let that happen.

15. I wish I stayed in touch with friends.

It’s normal for people to fall out of touch, but often it’s a result of a “they didn’t call me so they don’t miss me” mentality. If you truly miss someone and are wondering how they’re doing, chances are the other party is feeling the same way. Be the first to call, write, or visit. You’ll be glad you did.

16. I wish I was more aware of the real world around me.
I don’t believe this is a huge concern for people currently on their deathbeds, but for the millennial generation this will be a huge regret. We’re constantly plugged in everywhere we go. This encourages us to unconsciously ignore the beauty that surrounds us every day. Unplug and look up. You’ll be more satisfied with what you find than whatever drama Shandra is starting on Facebook.

17. I wish I had more confidence in myself.
Everyone is self conscious, especially those who appear very cocky and sure of themselves. A big mistake people make in life is not truly believing in their own ability. It’s such a shame because it’s so easy. Only you need to validate your worth.

18. I wish I trusted my intuition.
That little voice in the back of your head is there for a reason. Sadly, for many of us that voice can be self defeating and quite harsh about life. There are, however, many other occasions where that voice is the megaphone for the heart, telling you what you truly desire and deeply want. Listen to it.

19. I wish I ran with a better crowd.
Choose to believe this or not, but you are a direct result of the people you surround yourself with. If you run with idiots, chances are high you will become one. The beauty of life is that we have the conscious choice on who we spend our time with and what we spend our time doing. I can’t speak for you, but I seek people who will always challenge, encourage, and push me grow.

20. I wish I walked the walk.
Far too many people are good at vocalizing the life they want, but are horrendous at putting a plan into action to get there. It’s not enough to dream out loud, or quietly in your head. You must absolutely need to put yourself out there and leap into action.

We can all relate to the struggles and battles that life brings, but that doesn’t mean we have to roll over and take it. It’s tough, sure, but anything that’s worthwhile is. It really comes down to a simple choice: struggle for fulfillment now or wish you did in your final moments alive.

Only you can decide.

10 Ways To Teach Your Kids To Have A Fearless Mindset

As a parent, you want your kids to grow up to be confident, happy, and successful adults, able to face the world head-on and make the most of every opportunity. But what can you do to help them overcome the fears that might hold them back? It’s worth remembering first that fear serves a purpose; it’s a natural human emotion to warn us of possible harm – a call to action to protect ourselves. However, in our modern world, fear often tends to be out of proportion to risk and can prevent us from achieving as much as we would like, and are capable of.

Here are 10 ways to help your kids develop a fearless mindset and overcome the fears that are holding them back.

1. Acknowledge the fear, don’t just dismiss it
Simply telling your child to not be afraid, or to stop being silly, isn’t an effective way to help them deal with it. You need to acknowledge it properly. Whatever you might think about the fear, it’s very real to them and they need to know that you get that. Give them the opportunity to talk about it, show that you really understand. The fear needs to be acknowledged first before you can help them to move on from it.

2. Let them know that failure IS an option
Society places such pressure on everyone not to fail, we can easily forget that failure is often a key part of the learning process. Most of the greatest inventions in history were the result of a long series of failed attempts before the final successful one was achieved. Don’t let fear of failure hold your kids back, let them know that it’s okay to fail sometimes, show them how they can learn from it in order to do better next time. Model this behavior for them, if you fail at something, show them how you turn it around into a positive.

3. Don’t pass your own fears onto them
This is one that most of us are aware of and yet, as parents, we’re probably all guilty of it at times. Realistically, you’re probably not going to be able to completely hide your fears from your kids at all times. What you can do however is talk it through with them, show them that you’re human, and you too are afraid of things that you don’t need to be afraid of at times. Show them how you deal with it and how you are working to overcome those fears.

4. Help them identify the actual fear

Often when people express a fear, they’re actually talking about something that is a step away from the fear itself – if someone says they’re afraid of flying, they’re probably not actually afraid of flying, they’re afraid of crashing. A child who says they’re afraid of monsters under the bed aren’t actually afraid of the monsters being under the bed, they’re afraid of them coming out from under the bed to hurt them. An important step in overcoming a fear is to clearly pinpoint what the actual fear is, so help them to do this and then work together to address it.

5. Show them the benefits
Sometimes a child can be so focused on the fear that they can’t see beyond it. Talk through the benefits of overcoming the fear with them, what they will gain, what it might lead on to. Ask them questions to encourage them to think of what the positive outcomes might be rather than just telling them. This will help to refocus their attention on to the other side of the fear barrier.

6. Remind them of previous times they overcame a fear
Reminding your child of a previous occasion where they were afraid to try something, but ended up enjoying it, can give them a little boost of confidence in their own abilities.

7. Avoid comparing them to others
Focus on your child, and what fears it is that they are aiming to overcome. Making continual comparisons to other kids can be unhelpful and may make your child feel inadequate.

8. Teach them to recognize valid fears
While overcoming fears is important, we need to remember that some fears are perfectly valid and healthy. If your child is afraid of jumping into a river full of crocodiles, then that’s good, that’s a fear that you don’t want them to overcome. Teach them to recognize the difference between important life-saving fears, and irrational fears, by talking through risks and consequences.

9. Show them how facing a fear can be done in small steps
Sometimes the best way to overcome a fear is to leap right into it, other times though it’s better to tackle it slowly and gently. Be guided by your child on this, if the fear is overwhelming for them, then show them how it can be approached in small stages, only moving on to the next stage when a certain comfort level is reached. Plan the stages with them ahead of time so that they are clear on what is going to happen, and don’t spring surprises on them or they won’t trust you next time.

10. Constantly remind them that they’re not alone
Probably the most important one is to remind them regularly that they don’t have to face their fears alone. If they feel secure in the knowledge that you will be there for them whatever the outcome, this will grow their fearless mindset and help give them the confidence to move forward.

5 Simple But Effective Steps Motivated People Do To Overcome Frustration

On your journey to success you’re going to experience hardship and frustration; there will be times you’ll wonder if you’ve got what it takes to keep going, or why you decided to start in the first place. Anyone who has achieved anything great has endured pain and failure, but what separates the best from the rest is how they respond to adversity. Here are five things you can learn from motivated people to get out of a rut, and thrive:

1. They Focus On Actions, Not Feelings
Motivated people don’t take counsel from their feelings – especially when those feelings aren’t getting them closer to their goal. Ask any successful person if there have been days they didn’t feel like putting in the work because they were tired, stressed, or busy. The answer is going to be a resounding yes. Motivated people understand that feeling tired will lead to acting tired, and feeling stressed will lead to acting stressed. I’m not saying to discount your feelings, what I am saying is to act in spite of them. When you are truly passionate about what you want to accomplish, you’ve got to understand that you will run into obstacles, and experience frustration many times, but it’s about identifying what you need to do to be successful, and then doing it – regardless of if you want to or not. If you only put in hard work on the days you feel good, you won’t get much done.

2. They Reconnect To Their Purpose
When you discover why you do what you do, you’ll have more power to do it. The reason you might be experiencing frustration is because there is a disconnect between your actions and goals. Realign your day with your mission, and live your life on purpose, with purpose. As long as you know your “why,” you’ll experience detours, but not dead ends. If disappointment has clouded your view, use these three questions to create clarity:

1. Why do I do what I do?

2. What do I want to accomplish?

3. How do I want to be remembered?

3. They Think About Their Hero
Take some time to think about someone you truly admire. The person you’re probably thinking about has overcome some tremendous adversity, which is one of the reasons why you have so much respect and admiration for them. If you find yourself between a rock and a hard place, ask yourself, “What would [insert your hero] do?” This question will help you step outside yourself and find the strength to act in a manner that you wouldn’t otherwise do.

4. They Win In The Morning
Motivated people appreciate the gift of a new day. Every morning is an opportunity to start fresh, so take advantage! You don’t have to carry yesterday into today, so be sure to take control of your life, by taking control of what you do when you wake up. Motivated people understand that while there are many factors that are out of their control, they choose to focus on what they can control. If you’re in a slump, try this:

1. Write down what time you’re going to wake up tomorrow.

2. Write down your plan for the first 60-minutes after you wake up (i.e. workout, write in your book, meditate, etc.).

3. Wake up on time and do it (refuse to snooze).

4. Repeat every day.

5. They Look At The Bright Side
If you want to be frustrated, focus on frustrating things. If you want to be more positive, you’ve got to learn how to flex those optimistic muscles! It may be difficult at first, but do your best to look on the bright side of things, and see the good that is happening around you. This doesn’t mean being unrealistic, but it means accepting that your situation may not ideal. Identify not only what you’re going to do about it, but ponder how it will make you better and stronger. Motivated people understand that they give power to what they focus on. Why dwell on the negative when seeing the bright side is going to help you succeed.

5 Ways to Overcome the Voice in Your Head

Your ego is the voice in your head that tells us we aren’t good enough, smart enough or pretty enough. If we allow ourselves to listen to it, it can seriously affect the way we live and love. Despite how often or how loud the voice in your head may be, you are the one in control. The ego doesn’t control you, unless you let it. You might spiral down a rabbit hole so deep, you don’t know how to crawl yourself back out.
Read Also: 5 Hacks To Overcome Your Ego

Here are five ways to tell your ego, you are the one running the show:

1. Say thank you.
By thanking the voice in your head, you aren’t fuelling its fire. The more loving kindness you give to the ego, the more it begins to dissolve. You can thank the ego and let it know, you are taking it from here. The more you try to fight the ego by telling it to ‘shut up’ or ‘piss off,’ the louder the voice becomes.

2. Tell the voice in your head you are good enough.
The ego can lead you to believe that you aren’t capable of doing the things you want to do. You might compare yourself to other people, which never ends well. All human beings have a need for significance, but it has to come from the inside out. You can’t solely rely on other people to make you feel good about yourself. Tell the ego that you matter and believe it, because you do.

3. Let the ego know, you’ve already done this.
Reminding the voice in your head of the things you’ve already achieved, overcame or accomplished allows you to shift your attention to the positive outcomes you’ve already experienced. The ego can’t doubt you if it knows you’ve already prevailed in the face of adversity.

4. Make sure the voice in your head understands you are comfortable with the uncomfortable.
The ego wants to keep you safe. It leads you to believe your ‘comfort zone’ is where you want to be, when you really just want to break free from the feelings of mundanity. Once you let the voice inside your head know you embrace uncertainty, it has no choice but to step down.

5. Understand the importance of feedback, so your ego does too.
Failure and feedback are one-in-the-same. When you don’t achieve the outcome you hoped for, you gain feedback based on your experience. You can learn from this, and change how you approach future opportunities or challenges. Challenges evoke growth and change. Let the ego know you need to fail in order to grow and succeed.  Some of the greatest achievers of our time had to fail hundreds of times. Here are some inspirational words about failure from basketball legend, Michael Jordan:

    “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
    Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.

    I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.

    Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships.

    I can accept failure, but I can’t accept not trying.

    Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.
    You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.

    If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.

    I play to win, whether during practice or a real game. And I will not let anything get in the way of me and   my competitive enthusiasm to win.

    My attitude is that if you push me towards something that you think is a weakness, then I will turn that perceived weakness into a strength.”

The more you compare yourself to others, think about what you don’t have, fear failure or wish you were someone else, the bigger and louder your ego becomes. You are not the voice in your head. In the words of Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth and The Power of Now:

    “Boredom, anger, sadness, or fear are not ‘yours,’ not personal.

    They are conditions of the human mind.

    They come and go.

    Nothing that comes and goes is you.”