17 Things To Expect When You Date A Girl Who’s Used To Being On Her Own

1. Expect her to do her own thing often and without letting you know, at least at first. It’s not that you don’t matter; it’s just that she’s learned to love doing what she wants, when she wants, and without asking permission or informing anyone.

2. She’ll probably want to take things slowly because she’ll not be used to all the attention. Don’t think she doesn’t like you enough, she probably likes you a lot; it’s just all new to her.

3. Expect her friends to be overprotective of her and to be suspicious of you at first. They’re not used to her being with someone and they’ll want to make sure you’re the kind of guy who will treat her well.

4. She’ll have a hard time letting you do things for her. Try not to take this personally. She’s just used to taking care of herself and it’ll be hard for her to live in a world where she’s got someone else looking out for her in that way.

5. Expect her to be stubborn, to always want things her way, and to fight you when she doesn’t get it. Don’t always give in to her, but do let her win sometimes.

6. She needs to be left alone often especially when you first start seeing each other and it should feel like she’s head over heels. Believe that she has more butterflies in her stomach than she knows what to do with, which is why she’ll need to compose herself.

7. Expect her to pull away from you, especially when she realizes how much she likes you. She’ll come back to you but she’ll need time to think her feelings through.

8. She’ll question you, sometimes directly, sometimes implicitly, about your feelings for her. She’ll always want to know if they are real or if she’s making things up in her head.

9. Expect her to be headstrong. She’ll tell you, “I’ve got this,” more than you’ll want to hear. But she’ll get used to your offers to help. And in time she’ll know how to let go of the tight grip she seems to have on everything.

10. She’ll be guarded, and she won’t be keen on letting you in. She’s waiting to see if you’re patient, she’s waiting to see if you’re worth it. She’s hoping that you’re worth it.

11. Expect her to be stingy with trust, to only give a little bit at a time. But every time she gives you a little, it’ll feel like a big step for her. Cherish these big steps.

12. She’ll come across as strong, maybe too strong for you at first. But don’t be intimidated, this is her outer shell. And when you get to know her, you’ll know she’s strong but soft; tough but kind.

13. Expect her to be reserved, at least about the things that matter. Until you really get to know her. And then you’ll see the untamed, raw, and always beautiful open version of her that she’ll let you fully discover.

14. She’ll be slow with her vulnerabilities, and hide many of her weaknesses. And when she shows you them, she’ll feel naked. Clothe her with your words.

15. Expect her not to need you, and not to believe in needing much of anything at all. But she’ll want you. And when she does, it’ll be the most exhilarating feeling you’ve ever experienced.

16. She’ll be scared – scared to be hurt, scared to love, and be loved. Scared that you’ll eventually hurt her or leave her and if and when that happens, she won’t know who she was before.

17. Being alone is her default, it’s her comfort zone. But expect her to fall in love with you faster than she’ll admit and in a way that isn’t loud but still powerful; it’ll be like a little bit of heaven. And it won’t matter if you love her for a while or for a lifetime; her love will change both you and her forever.

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Don’t Compare Yourself To Anyone

One of the unfortunate tendencies of our humanity is comparing ourselves to each other. We’ve been doing it since we were little kids. “My dad is stronger than yours.” “My house is bigger than yours.” It continues into our teenage years and the category of comparison grow. We compare our looks, our talents, our academic achievements, our friendships, our relationships or lack thereof. The list goes on.

In our adulthood, I do not think we become any wiser – our measuring stick continues to be the people around us. With the prevalence of social media, I can only imagine that the urge to compare one’s life to the depiction of others’ lives on social media platforms is greater for many of us. Images and expressions from people seemingly to be living only the good life can leave one despaired as to why your life isn’t as good as everybody else’s. Of course the reality that most people won’t tell you is that this portrayal of the good life is only partial, which is just one of many reasons that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others.

I think many of us are fond of telling each other only the good parts of our lives. It is one of the ways in which life is a performance. But the reality of everyone’s life is that we all have to endure pain in one way or the other. Of course, no one likes to bring that up when they run into their friends at parties. We smile and we laugh and we tell you that life is wonderful or at least alright, even when we might be dying inside, even when we feel like our lives are completely falling apart. If you are perceptive, you know that no matter how wonderful life is, even when life’s struggles are beautiful, this life that is a gift is still a life full of problems.

The truth is most of us don’t know what each other have negotiated to be where we are in our lives. Take the example of romantic relationships. People often ask me if I ever get lonely or feel left out in comparison to my friends who are in relationships. The truth is sometimes I do – whenever I have to go to an event by myself or bring a girlfriend or guy friend to something that should ordinarily be for couples, of course I feel left out. But the truth is I have learned not to envy people in relationships because I do not know how truly happy they are; I don’t know what they endure every day on account of having a significant other, and I do not know what they have sacrificed to be in that relationship.

Another great category of comparison is in career. As someone who has always been very diligent about school and work experience, my peers were very surprised that post-college, after failing to go to law school, I worked at a struggling start-up for a year. It didn’t pay much so I was not a high-earning graduate like people suspected I would be. But I liked my job even though it didn’t always give me the monetary satisfaction that many of my friends enjoyed. One of my friends who had landed an amazing job at a top accounting firm one day told me he envied me. I was really surprised because I envied his life. He had moved to L.A., he was a high-earning graduate, and he seemed to be living the good life. He said he envied the freedom and happiness I enjoyed in my job. To him, I was living the good life even though my life was far from it.

It’s okay to want things other people have; it is quite natural and we should want good things for ourselves. But we should not fool ourselves into thinking that other people have picture-perfect lives. Everyone struggles, everyone hurts, and everyone is enduring something that they probably won’t tell you about. Whatever picture people paint their life as, rest assured that any one life in all its parts is beautiful and dark, hopeful and weary, a blessing and an everyday battle. Focus on the good parts of your life and be grateful for your own set of problems because if you knew what everyone else was going through, you would probably still choose your own life. Don’t compare yourself to anyone and while we’re at it, let’s be a little kinder to each other along the way.

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What You Want Is Killing You

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine said something that has been consuming my thoughts almost daily. Perhaps intending to be profound, perhaps not, my friend said something that forced me to wonder and ponder about who I am and what I want. What did my friend say? He said, “What I want is killing me.”

The context for this statement as I recall, was that my friend had been thinking about what he wanted versus what he needed. He realized or maybe re-realized – as many of us often do in adulthood – that our needs are actually quite small. It is our wants that are endless. Economics 101, right?

We’re warned from a young age to not want many things. It coincides with universal values that most of us are taught regardless of culture and economic position. Values such as prudence, gratitude, and indeed even the ever-coveted happiness is communicated as intrinsically related to wanting less. It makes sense. Have you ever been happy while thinking about wanting more? Rarely.

So what are we to do with our wants? Popular (and brief and partial) interpretations of religious theologies and philosophies may provide some assistance here. Buddhism, as I understand it, tells us that with enough persistence in meditation and in understanding one’s state in this world, our wants will diminish. Islam offers that God who is all-knowing has decreed all and allows all; but also that as we have the willpower to want, we can have the willpower to stop wanting. Judaism insists that ultimately material desire must be broken because it distances one from God.

The religious theologies I am most familiar with however, come from Christianity, of which there are many. There are those who preach what has become known as the Prosperity Gospel. Often conceptualized in a pejorative way by those who do not subscribe to it, the fundamental idea is that God blesses an individual with material success as with anything else. (So it’s okay to want material things.)

But I am a cradle Catholic, and like most cradle Catholics, not getting what you want is sometimes seen as Divine Intervention. And if you really wanted it? Well, you’re told to “offer it up”- which is Catholic-speak for “quit bitchin’.” (This is of course after the “God helps those who help themselves” lecture you’ll get when you express your wants. Often coupled with a “faith without works” speech.) What did Jesus himself say about wants though? Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matt 6:33)

For all intents and purposes, I do want the kingdom of God. But I also want other things. Some of these things are even holy. But many of them are just human.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting things. In fact, I think sometimes wanting things is good. It shows that you have hope and faith and plans for the future – and those are all good things. But I do think why you want what you want is of utmost importance. Who you think you might become because of these things is something you may want to consider. And what you are and aren’t willing to do to achieve these things is vital.

For me, I know that “things,” and most certainly visible things are probably not the best description of what I want. My wants are often invisible and intangible; experiences, achievements, success, significance, etc. The things that money cannot always buy – those are the things that keep me up at night. To have gone through life ordinarily, never doing what I believe I am capable of doing with all the gifts I’ve been given, and the sacrifices that have been made – this, my friends, sometimes terrifies me to the point of paralysis.

I know how to want less stuff. I know how to live with less stuff. But like my friend, what I want is killing me. But I’m okay with that sort of death because the truth be told, when it comes to at least some of my wants, I’d rather die trying. Death, to me, is not as bad as a mediocre life that never tried for anything because one was much too afraid to want anything.

There is a happy medium though – I’m certain of it. That place where our desires can meet goodness; a place of virtue. That place where our wants do not drive us to death or to a life where we feel like we are dying because of our desires. Perhaps this place, more than anything else, is the thing I want the most.

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EVERY WOMAN SHOULD READ THESE 30 RULES FOR GODLY WOMEN

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD READ THESE 30 RULES FOR GODLY WOMEN-----------------

1). Never raise your voice for any reason to your husband. Its a sign of disrespect.(Prov 15v1)
2). Don't expose your husband's weaknesses toyour family and friends. It will bounce back at you.You are each other's keeper.(Eph 5v12)
3). Never use attitudes and moods to communicate to your husband, you never know how your husband will interpret them. Defensive women don't have a happy home.(Prov 15v13)
4). Never compare your husband to other men, you've no idea what their life is all about. If you attack his Ego, his Love for you will diminish.
5). Never ill treat your husband's friends because you don't like them, the person who's supposed to get rid of them is your husband.(Prov 11v22)
6). Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else. Do your duties.(Gen 2v24)
7). Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.(Eph 5v33)
8). Never blame your husband if he comes back home empty handed. Rather encourage him.(Deut 3v28)
9). Never be a wasteful wife, your husband's sweat is too precious to be wasted.
10). Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband sex. You must give it to him how he wants it. Sex is very important to Men, if you keep denying him, it is a matterif time before another woman takes over theat duty. No man can withstand sex starvation for too long(even the anointed ones) (SS 7v12)
11). Never compare your husband to your one time sex mate in bedroom, or an Ex-lover. Your home may Never recover from it if you do.(SS 5v9)
12). Never answer for your husband in public opinion polls, let him handle what is directed to him although he may answer for you in public opinion polls.(Prov 31v23)
13). Never shout or challenge your husband in front of children. Wise Women don't do that.(Eph 4v31)
14). Don't forget to check the smartness of your husband before he checks out.(Prov 12v4)
15). Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband.
16). Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table. Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.( 1 Sam25v3)
17). Your parents or family or friends do not have the final say in your marriage. Don't waste your time looking up to them for a final word. You must Leave if you want to Cleave.(Luke 21v16)
18). Never base your love on monetary things.Will you still submit to him even if you earn more money than him?
19). Don't forget that husbands want attention and good listeners, never be too busy for him.Good communication is the bed rock of every happy home. (Gal 6v9)
20). If your idea worked better than his, nevercompare yourself to him. Its always teamwork.(Gal 6v10)
21). Don't be too judgemental to your husband. No man wants a Nagging wife.(Eph 4v29)
22). A lazy wife is a careless wife. She doesn't even know that her body needs a bath.(Prov 24v27)(Prov 20v13)
23). Does your husband like a kind of cooked food?, try to changeyour cooking. No man jokes with food. (Prov 31v14)
24). Never be too demanding to your husband,enjoy every moment, resource as it comes.(Luke 11v3)
25). Make a glass of water the very first welcome to your husband and everyone entering your home. Sweetness of attitude is true beauty. (Prov 31v11)
26). Don't associate with women who have a wrong mental attitude about marriage.(Prov 22v14)
27). Your marriage is as valuable to you as the value that you give it. Recklessness is unacceptable.(Heb 13v4)
28). Fruit of the womb is a blessing from the Lord, love your children and teach them well.(Prov 22v6)
29). You are never too old to influence your home. Never reduce your care for your familyfor any reason. (Prov 31v28)
30). A prayerful wife is a better equipped wife,pray always for your husband and family(1 Thess 5v17)
Have a lovely day..... God bless u all

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Oprah Winfrey made $12 million from one tweet about bread

Oprah Winfrey just made more news, saying she lost 26 pounds on her Weight Watchers diet. Even better, her wallet got a lot fatter. According to Market Watch, Winfrey racked in a whopping $12 million for merely writing about how she was able to lose weight and still eat bread.
"I lost 26 pounds, and I have eaten bread every single day," she said in her testimonial clip.
An hour after O sent her story into the Twitterverse, Weight Watchers shares climbed slightly over $2 a share, and since Winfrey owns roughly 6 million shares, the surge in share prices made the celeb $12 million just like that.

Oprah as a board member and large share owner of the company. She's made a fortune since her October investment. Using a price of $13 a share from Tuesday afternoon, that means she's made $61 million on her total investment.

On a per-pound basis, that's $2.36 million of profits gained for each pound lost.

She has the best of both worlds: getting richer while getting slimmer.

Oprah's October investment came at a price of $6.79 per share. She bought about 6.36 million shares, which cost her $43.2 million.

She was also granted 3.51 million options to buy shares at that same $6.79 price. Combining shares and options, her total stake is worth almost 10 million shares — 9.88 million shares to be more specific. The stock has practically doubled in that time, even including the rapid decline in the past several weeks.

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7 Chivalrous Acts That We Should Still Expect From Modern Dating

While the origin of the word “chivalrous” may have come from medieval knights’ code of conduct, it’s time we detach “treating someone decently and respectfully” from an archaic gender role. The truth is that a lot of what we refer to as being “chivalrous” is nothing more than “treating someone decently” and there are many small but significant ways we could incorporate it into modern dating. Here, a few ways to reinfuse some old fashioned romance into your Tinder hookups – no matter what gender you identify with.

1. Asking someone on a date formally and directly.
Be clear with your intentions. “Hanging out” is not dating, and if you aren’t interested in someone enough to go out on a limb and ask to take them to dinner, you probably aren’t interested in them enough to be dating them at all.

2. Going the door when picking someone up.
Let’s retire the “here” text once and for all, and assume that if possible, going out together is always better than meeting up once you’re there.

3. Stating that you don’t want a second date rather than ghosting, or worse, lingering in-between.
You can kindly say that you don’t think you’re a great match but that you wish them well. If you are not enough of an adult to be able to communicate this, you probably aren’t mature enough to be dating either.

4. Assuming that the person who asks for the date, pays.
Never assume that you won’t have to pay, and always assume that if you are the one who asked to take someone out, you should foot the bill. When that’s not the case, be prepared to take your share of the check if that’s what it comes down to.

5. Making time for little acts of kindness, like offering a warm coat or cleaning up after a meal at home.
These are the things that make people feel really loved. They are going to be the fuel that keeps the fire burning after a while – don’t underestimate the power of the little things.

6. Getting creative about date ideas.
Beautiful dinners and expensive gestures don’t actually “wow” people the way we assume they will. What matters more is that you put some thought into your time together (for example: take them to their favorite spot at the park for lunch, rather than just a restaurant).

7. Not assuming sex is a given, rather, thinking of it as a privilege.
As in, rather than approach the date with the pretense that it will be a precursor to sex, think of the date as an opportunity to get to know someone, and anything beyond that is just gravy.

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